Mike Wallace Monologues

Time? BULLSHIT! You corporate LACKEY! Who told you your incompetent little fingers had the requisite skills to edit me! I’m trying to band-aid a situation here, and you’re too dim to…

Mike? “Mike.” Try “Mr. Wallace”. We work in the same corporation doesn’t mean we work in the same profession. What are you going to do now? You’re gonna finesse me, lawyer me some more? I’ve been in this profession 50 FUCKING YEARS! You, and the people you work for, are destroying the most-respected, the highest-rated, the most-profitable show on this network!

In the real world, when you get to where I am, there are other considerations.

I’m not talking celebrity, vanity, CBS. I’m talking about when you’re nearer the end of your life than the beginning. Now, what do you think you think about then? The future? In the future I’m going to do this? Become that? What future? No. What you think is “How will I be regarded in the end?” After I’m gone. Now, along the way I suppose I made some minor impact. I did Iran-Gate and the Ayatollah, Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, Saddam, Sadat, etcetera, etcetera. I showed them thieves in suits. I’ve spent a lifetime building all that. But history only remembers most what you did last. And should that be fronting a segment that allowed a tobacco giant to crash this network? Does it give someone at my time of life pause? Yeah.

Do me a favor, will you – spare me, for God’s sake, get in the real world, what do you think? I’m going to resign in protest? To force it on the air? The answer’s “no”. I don’t plan to spend the end of my days wandering in the wilderness of National Public Radio. That decision I’ve already made.

I mean, he’s got a corporate secrecy agreement – give me a break! I mean, this is a public health issue! Like an unsafe airframe on a passenger jet or some company dumping cyanide into the East River, issues like that! He can talk, we can air it! They’ve got no right to hide behind a “corporate agreement”! Pass the milk.

A servant of God? Really? Americans believe that you, as an Islamic fundamentalist, that you are a leader who contributed to the bombing of the US Embassy…

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