Do you remember those antidepressants I was on? I’m not on them anymore. I’m not doing well. I’m really, really not doing well. I’ve never been clean. And I don’t plan on getting clean. I’m a piece of shit. I’m a liar. I cheated on you. I fucked your friends
I fucked your friends. God, I feel like I’m crazy. I’ve stolen from your mother. And you know what the fucked up thing is? I don’t even care. I don’t mind. Because I deserve it. Tell me where the fucking pills are. Tell me where the pills are.
And that, Malcolm, is what authenticity buys you.
You know what, Malcolm, if you’re gonna treat me like an insane person and call me fucking crazy, the least you could do is do it without casually eating macaroni and cheese. How does that work for you? What does that sound like in your fucking brain? “What a cunt. Mmm. This macaroni and cheese is delicious. What a cunt. I wonder if there’s more mac and cheese. What a cunt. If I could direct commercials for Kraft Mac and Cheese, I would.”
Yes, I think Angela Davis would disagree with you.
It’s not just about you forgetting to thank me, Malcolm. It’s about how you see me. And how you view my contribution; not just to this relationship, but to your work. Specifically in a movie you made about my life.
So this is what happens when you get a good review. You’re fucking crazy. I’m ser… you’re delirious.
Malcolm, you laugh, but I can see it. I’m serious, I can see that shit. All your new Twitter friends will be quote-Tweeting your ass, handclaps and shit, talkin’ ’bout, “This is what change looks like.” “Yes, king!”
Mm-hmmm. But then the rest of America is gonna be like, “Well, what the fuck is this Negro doing selling us some shit with these LEGOs? I’m not seeing that shit!” Then there’s gonna be boycotts, fucking protests because you’re politicizing these LEGOs, but thankfully, you’ll have your new white girlfriend from the LA Times. I mean, she’s gonna come riding in with her SPF-50 brigade on some real soccer mom shit, tweeting’ at people left and right.
“Well, this is literally censorship! Who is in charge here? It is our moral obligation to go and see this movie written and directed by a real Bla… I mean, person of color. We are going to make history, okay? We’re going to make it the biggest box office ever!”
And the next thing you know, you will have made a toy company a billion dollars.
Yes! “Congratulations, Malcolm Elliot! You fucking did it!
“Here’s a couple million dollars and a fucking fruit basket. But just as a thought, have you ever considered doing the Angela Davis biopic, but with LEGOs?”
You know what, Malcolm? I feel like once you know someone is there for you and once you know they love you, you never actually think of them again.
‘Cause you’re a ho! What? You are. That’s fine. That’s why you’re hell-bent on sounding smart, ’cause you’re compensating for the fact that you’re a ho. Instead of just understanding that… This is just how the world of ho-dom turns. You know, you got an actress in a $2,000 dress, talkin’ about socialism on a red carpet because she’s too afraid to admit that, guess what, she’s just… she’s just a fuckin’ actor. There’s no shame in that. And then you got every entertainment outlet running with her call to arms, her “viva la revolution”. Not because they actually care or want to spread the message. But because they know that there’s nothing that sells more than disgust. That’s what gets the clicks. And you dumbasses fall for that shit every time. Honestly, nobody cares what you have to say. They don’t. You guys play fucking dress-up for a living. This is some only-in-America, ho-ass shit. And all of you are guilty. You know? So just stay in your lane. Keep doing your ho shit. It’s fine.
You are literally incapable of de-escalating a situation unless it’s work related. And even then, it’s 50-50.
