Cut it out! Cut it out! Cut it out! The hell’s the matter with you? Stupid! We’re all very different people. We’re not Watusi. We’re not Spartans. We’re Americans, with a capital ‘A’, huh? You know what that means? Do ya? That means that our forefathers were kicked out of every decent country in the world. We are the wretched refuse. We’re the underdog. We’re mutts! Here’s proof: his nose is cold! But there’s no animal that’s more faithful, that’s more loyal, more loveable than the mutt. Who saw “Old Yeller?” Who cried when Old Yeller got shot at the end?
Nobody cried when Old Yeller got shot? I’m sure.
I cried my eyes out. So we’re all dogfaces, we’re all very, very different, but there is one thing that we all have in common: we were all stupid enough to enlist in the Army. We’re mutants. There’s something wrong with us, something very, very wrong with us. Something seriously wrong with us – we’re soldiers. But we’re American soldiers! We’ve been kicking ass for 200 years! We’re ten and one! Now we don’t have to worry about whether or not we practiced. We don’t have to worry about whether Captain Stillman wants to have us hung. All we have to do is to be the great American fighting soldier that is inside each one of us. Now do what I do, and say what I say. And make me proud.
C’mon, it’s Czechoslovakia. We zip in, we pick ’em up, we zip right out again. We’re not going to Moscow. It’s Czechoslovakia. It’s like going into Wisconsin.
My philosophy: a hundred-dollar shine on a three-dollar pair of shoes.
Chicks dig me, because I rarely wear underwear and when I do it’s usually something unusual. But now I know why I have always lost women to guys like you. I mean, it’s not just the uniform. It’s the stories that you tell. So much fun and imagination.
Lee Harvey, you are a madman. When you stole that cow, and your friend tried to make it with the cow. I want to party with you, cowboy. If the two of us together, forget it. I’m gonna go out on a limb here. I’m gonna volunteer my leadership to this platoon. An army without leaders is like a foot without a big toe. And Sergeant Hulka isn’t always gonna be here to be that big toe for us. I think that we owe a big round of applause to our newest, bestest buddy, and big toe… Sergeant Hulka.
Tito Puente’s gonna be dead, and you’re gonna say, “Oh, I’ve been listening to him for years, and I think he’s fabulous.”
Oh, it’s not the speed really so much, I just wish I hadn’t drunk all that cough syrup this morning.
I know that I’m speaking for the entire platoon when I say this run should be postponed until this platoon is better rested.
FAIR? Who cares about fair? The world isn’t fair. Truth is fair. Is it fair that you were born like this? NO! They’re not expecting somebody like you in there, Ox. They’re expected one of these slugs. You’re different. You’re weird. You’re a mutant. You’re a killer. You’re a trained killer. You’re a LEAN… MEAN…
I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy.
Don’t order the Schnitzel, they’re using Schnauzer.
I’ve had an interesting morning. In the last two hours I’ve lost my job, my apartment, my car, and my girlfriend.
Tito Puente is going to be dead and you’re going to say, “Oh, I’ve been listening to him for years and I think he’s fabulous.”
You don’t think that takes energy? You’re a sexual dynamo! Most guys couldn’t even handle you. I’ve been readin’ books on the outside just so I can keep up with you!
It’s a little cute. Come on, I’m part of a lost and restless generation. What do you want me to do? Run for the Senate?
Who’s your friend? Who’s your buddy? I am, aren’t I? You’re crazy about me, aren’t you?
