I bought a quarter pound of butter this morning. Why don’t you buy a half pound at a time?
If my mom taught logic in high school, this would be some weird country.
Just draw me a picture, I brought a pencil. You want crayons? Maybe you should do it in color.
That dirty little pig! He’s watching Nora getting undressed… I wonder if he’d let me come over.
It was a tense moment for everybody. I love tense moments. Especially when I’m not the one they’re all tense about.
What if they took a shower together – Aunt Blanche and Nora? If I could walk in and see that I’d thank God and become a rabbi.
I’ll never make it with the Yankees. All the great Yankees are Italian. My mother makes spaghetti with ketchup – what chance do I have?
I have seen the Golden Palace of the Himalayas. Puberty is over! Onward and upward!
Liver and cabbage – the Jewish mediaeval torture! My friend Marty Gregori, an A student in Science, told me that cooked cabbage can be smelled farther than sound travelling for seven minutes.
The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife… which is more than I can say for the liver.
I wanted to cut my wrists but the liver had worn down the knives.
She saw me on the crapper! Nora saw me on the crapper! I might as well be dead!
Tell him I’m busy… ice cream? Wait a minute, I’ll be right there.
Guess who’s gonna get blamed for the war in Europe!
