Earl Jackson Monologues

Man, I don’t even know. It might be his folks. I mean, dude’s mom always tellin’ him how handsome he is, which he ain’t. So now he think he can’t trust anybody close to him. Dude’s weird-ass dad don’t socialize with anybody ‘cept the cat. So that’s a role model ain’t got no friends. Bottom line, dude’s terrified of callin’ somebody his friend…

It’s just crazy how patient you’ve been. You know, I know if it was me that had cancer, uh… I’d be upset and angry and trying to beat everybody’s ass half the time. So I’m just, I’m just amazed at how patient you’ve been. You, you make me feel blessed.

I’m so tired of you treating this girl like she’s a burden. You know, her life is over after this! And you want to come over here bitching and whining about some irrelevant bullshit!

Like you care so much about what other people think, boy, you go around here kissing everybody’s ass pretending like they’re your friend. Look, nobody gives a shit about you, Greg! All right? Nobody gives a shit.

You gonna take her out for Ice Cream. And you gonna take me too, cause I love that shit.

We tried a lot of different ways of making a film for you, but they were all too goofy or irrelevant, or just not what we wanted. So, now I’m gonna talk to you directly. Um, all right, I’m gonna be honest here. Okay? Sometimes, white girls are particularly stupid. I mean, everybody’s stupid, but white girls, you know… they think they better than everybody and self-centered and pretend they not. But you aren’t like that, you know. Um, it’s just crazy how patient you’ve been. You know, I know if it was me that had cancer, uh, I’d be upset and angry and trying to beat everybody’s ass half the time. So I’m just, I’m just amazed at how patient you’ve been. You, you make me feel blessed.

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