Well, in a nutshell, it said: “The American people are turning sullen. They’ve been clobbered on all sides by Vietnam, Watergate, the inflation, the depression; they’ve turned off, shot up, and they’ve fucked themselves limp, and nothing helps.” So, this concept analysis report concludes, “The American people want somebody to articulate their rage for them.” I’ve been telling you people since I took this job six months ago that I want angry shows. I don’t want conventional programming on this network. I want counterculture, I want anti-establishment. I don’t want to play butch boss with you people, but when I took over this department, it had the worst programming record in television history. This network hasn’t one show in the top twenty. This network is an industry joke, and we’d better start putting together one winner for next September. I want a show developed based on the activities of a terrorist group, “Joseph Stalin and His Merry Band of Bolsheviks,” I want ideas from you people. This is what you’re paid for. And by the way, the next time I send an audience research report around, you’d all better read it, or I’ll sack the fucking lot of you. Is that clear?
I was married for four years, and pretended to be happy; and I had six years of analysis, and pretended to be sane. My husband ran off with his boyfriend, and I had an affair with my analyst, who told me I was the worst lay he’d ever had. I can’t tell you how many men have told me what a lousy lay I am. I apparently have a masculine temperament. I arouse quickly, consummate prematurely, and can’t wait to get my clothes back on and get out of that bedroom. I seem to be inept at everything except my work. I’m goddamn good at my work and so I confine myself to that. All I want out of life is a 30 share and a 20 rating.
I watched your 6 o’clock news today; it’s straight tabloid. You had a minute and a half of that lady riding a bike naked in Central Park; on the other hand, you had less than a minute of hard national and international news. It was all sex, scandal, brutal crime, sports, children with incurable diseases, and lost puppies. So, I don’t think I’ll listen to any protestations of high standards of journalism when you’re right down on the streets soliciting audiences like the rest of us. Look, all I’m saying is if you’re going to hustle, at least do it right.
You know, Barbara, the Arabs have decided to jack up the price of oil another 20%… uh, the CIA has been caught opening Senator Humphrey’s mail… there’s a civil war in Angola… another one in Beirut… the, uh, New York City’s still facing default… they finally caught up with Patricia Hearst… and the whole front page of the “Daily News” is Howard Beale.
Did you see the news this morning? Did you see the Times? We got press coverage on this you couldn’t buy for a million dollars. Frank, that dumb show jumped five rating points in one night. Tonight’s show is gonna be at least fifteen. We’ve just increased our audience by twenty or thirty million people in one night! And you’re not going to to get something like this in your lap for the rest of your days and you can’t just piss it away. Howard Beale went up there last night and said what every American feels, that he’s tired of all the bullshit! He’s articulating the popular rage! I want that show, Frank. I can turn that show into the biggest smash on television.
I see Howard Beale as a latter day prophet. A magnificent messianic figure in vain against the hypocrisies of our times! A strip Savonarola, Monday through Friday, that I tell you Frank will just go through the roof! And, I’m talking about a six dollar cost per thousand show. I’m talking about a hundred, a hundred and thirty thousand dollar minutes and you ought to figure out the revenues of a strip show that sells for a hundred thousand bucks a minute! One show like that could pull this whole Network right out of the hole. Now, Frank, it’s being handed to us on a plate, let’s not blow it.
I’m interested in doing a weekly dramatic series based on the Ecumenical Liberation Army. The way I see the series is: Each week we open with an authentic act of political terrorism taken on the spot, in the actual moment. Then we go to the drama behind the opening film footage. That’s your job, Ms. Hobbs. You’ve got to get the Ecumenicals to bring in that film footage for us. The network can’t deal with them directly; they are, after all, wanted criminals.
What’s really bugging me now is my daytime programming. NBC’s got a lock on daytime – lousy game shows – and I’d like to bust them. I’m thinking of doing a homosexual soap opera, “The Dykes”: The heart-rending saga about a woman hopelessly in love with her husband’s mistress.
Look, we’ve got a bunch of hobgoblin radicals called the Ecumenical Liberation Army who go around taking home movies of themselves robbing banks. Now, maybe they’ll take movies of themselves kidnapping heiresses, hijacking 747s, bombing bridges, assassinating ambassadors. We’d open each week’s segment with their authentic footage, hire a couple of writers to write a story behind that footage, and we’ve got ourselves a series.
Well, what would you fellas say to an assassination? I think I can get the the Mao Tse-Tung people to kill Beale for us, as one of their shows. In fact, it would make a helluva kickoff show for the season. We’re facing heavy opposition on the other networks on Wednesday nights and “The Mao Tse-Tung Hour” could use a sensational opener. It could be done right on camera, in the the studio. We ought get a fantastic looking audience for the assignation of Howard Beale as our opening show.
Did you see the overnight’s on the Network News? It has an 8 in New York, a 9 in LA and 27 share in both cities. Last night Howard Beale went on the air and yelled “bullshit” for two minutes and I can tell you right now that tonight’s show will get a 30 share at least. I think we’ve lucked into something.
Did you know there are a number of psychics working as licensed brokers on Wall Street? Some of them counsel their clients by use of tarot cards. They’re all pretty successful, even in a bear market and selling short. I met one of them last week and thought of doing a show around her, “The Wayward Witch of Wall Street,” something like that.
That “The Mao Tse-Tung Hour” is turning into one big pain in the ass. We’re having heavy legal problems with the federal government right now. Two FBI guys turned up at Hackett’s office last week and served us with a subpoena. They heard about a Flagstaff bank rip off film and they want it. Hackett told the FBI to fuck off.
But we’re getting around the FBI by doing the show in collaboration with the News division! We’re standing on the first amendment, freedom of the press, and the right to protect our sources.
