Bob Barnes Monologues

If anything happens to me or my family, an accident, an accusation, anything, then first your son will disappear, his body will never be found. Then your wife. Her body will never be found either. This is guaranteed. Then, whatever is the most dangerous thing you do in your life, it might be flying in a small plane, it might be walking to the bank, you will be killed. Do you understand what I’m saying? I want you to acknowledge that you do understand so that we’re clear and there won’t be any mistakes.

I want you to take him from his hotel, drug him, put him in the front of a car, and run a truck into it at 50 mph.

Innocent until investigated? That’s nice. It’s got a nice ring to it. Bet you’ve worn some miles on old sayings like that. Gives the listener the sense of the law being written as it’s spoken.

I punched in “Prince Nasir Al-Subaai” and my computer gets seized. Where’d that job come from? Where did the Nasir job come from?

Why am I being investigating? Why am I being investigating, Fred?

Intelligence work isn’t training seminars and gold stars for attendance.

I think it’s two people in a room and one of them’s asking a favor that is a capital crime in every country on earth, a hanging crime.

Stan, I got a chance to go back to Beirut. I wanna go back. Is it safe for me?

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