He was my father. I loved him even if he had gone crazy.
No. I should’ve, but I was afraid. I mean, I loved my father but I was terrified of him.
I guess I avoided it because I wanted to.
You know, you never did tell me why it is you just keep that one picture of your mother in your office.
He said he had a vision, a vision from God.
An angel came to him and told him the truth of this world. And revealed God’s special purpose for are family.
I didn’t know what to say or how to feel.
I was too messed up to understander. End knowledge.
I didn’t realize it at that moment, at least not consciously, but my happy and mostly secure world had just flipped over, and there were dark things under there…
Very dark things.
And my little boy’s mind just couldn’t take it.
Dad told us that there were moments in everyone’s life when they could suddenly just disappear without anyone knowing where they went or why. He said those were the moments when God’s hands would reach out and take you. According to Dad, nothing, not even a camera could catch us. We were invisible when we were God’s hands.
I started digging that goddamn hole, but I did not pray. I would not. I hated God, I despised him. My hatred helped me dig, kept me going. Dad’s, or God’s, or the Angel’s or whoever’s plan it was would not work on me. I knew what Dad was doing was wrong, and nothing was gonna change that.
I hated Dad’s God, and I would have run away if it weren’t for my brother. I just couldn’t leave him there.
We lived right behind the Thurman public Rose Garden. In the house where they used to keep the gardeners back in the fifties. Dad had gotten a good deal on it back when him and mom got married.
Adam was three years younger than me. Our mama died giving birth to him, so, I basically took care of him for as long as I can remember.
Our dad worked as a mechanic over in Jupiter. He usually got home around 5:30 and we’d all have dinner together.
God had come to Dad earlier that day and told him that the time had come. After work he drove down to Jacksonville, about forty-five minutes or so southwest of Thurman. He said he had never been there before but he had no trouble finding it, God was leading him.
