Warren Beatty Monologues

All right, Miss Bryant, do you want an interview? Write this down. Are you naïve enough to think containing German militarism has anything to do with this war? Don't you understand that England and France own the world economy and Germany just wants a piece of it? Keep writing, Miss Bryant. Miss Bryant, can't you grasp that J. P. Morgan has loaned England and France a billion dollars? And if Germany wins, he won't get it back! More coffee? America'd be entering the war to protect J. P. Morgan's money. If he loses, we'll have a depression. So the real question is, why do we have an economy where the poor have to pay so the rich won't lose money?

You don't get to rewrite what I write.

What did you think this thing was gonna be? A revolution by consensus where we all sat down and agreed over a cup of coffee?

Look, what does a capitalist do? Let me ask you that, Mike. Huh? Tell me. I mean, what does he make, besides money? I don't know what he makes. The workers do all the work, don't they? Well, what if they got organized?

Zinoviev, you don't think a man can be an individual and be true to the collective, or speak for his own country and speak for the International at the same time, or love his wife and still be faithful to the revolution. You don't have a "self" to give.

You separate a man from what he loves most, what you do is purge what's unique in him. And when you purge what's unique in him, you purge dissent. And when you purge dissent, you kill the revolution! Dissent IS revolution!

Freedom, Mrs. Trullinger? I'd like to know what your idea of freedom is. Having your own studio? Walk..

There's a foreman of a logging camp, he's trying to hire a crew. You know, and he goes down a long line of very big men and he gets to a little man in the back and he says, "Who the hell are you? What're you doing here? Don't you know that I need men who can chop down dozens of trees a day? Where the hell have you ever worked before?" And the little man says, "Well, I worked in the Sahara forest." And the foreman says, "You mean the Sahara desert." And the little man says, "Yes, sure, now!"

You know, I can argue with cops, I can fight with generals. I can't deal with a bureaucrat.

Economic freedom for women means sexual freedom, and sexual freedom means birth control.

Maybe if you took yourself a little more seriously, other people would, too.

Why do you even expect to be taken seriously if you're not writing about serious things? I don't understand that.

With everything that's happening in the world today, you decide to sit down and write a piece on the influence of the God damned armory show of 1913! Are people supposed to take that seriously?

I'm sort of braising the cabbage. 'Cause I thought it'd be a nice change. You know that house where Rhys Williams is staying? Evidently, the banker's daughter came home in hysterics the other night, 'cause some woman streetcar conductor called her "Comrade." So after dinner, they all voted they preferred the Germans to the Bolsheviks by 10-to-1. Anyway, the social revolutionaries asked the British ambassador to please not to mention their visit, because they were already considered too far to the right. And, you know, it's the same group of people you couldn't even see a year ago, 'cause they were too far to the left. Karsavina is dancing tonight. And, oh, Manny Komroff says that Charlie Chaplin movie...

You thought, you thought, you thought. Try not to think too much, Eddie. Not when your comrades are depending on you.

Louise, you know, the Comintern doesn't know Edmund or Alfred from the New York Yankees. They know me. Somebody's got to go over there who's got a background.

These people can barely speak English. They don't even want to be integrated into American life. The Foreign Language Federations aren't gonna create Bolshevism in America any more than eating borscht will.

It's not happening the way we thought it would. It's not happening the way we wanted it to, but it's happening.

This here's Miss Bonnie Parker. I'm Clyde Barrow. We rob banks.

You know what you done there? You told my story, you told my whole story right there, right there. One time, I told you I was gonna make you somebody. That's what you done for me. You made me somebody they're gonna remember.

Now Ms. Parker, don't you believe what you read in all them newspapers. That's the law talkin' there. They want us to look big so they gonna look big when they catch us. And they ain't gonna catch us. 'Cause I'm even better at runnin' than I am at robbin' banks! Shoot, if we'd done half that stuff they said we'd done in that paper, we'd be millionaires by now, wouldn't we? But Ms. Parker, this here's the way we know best how to make money. But we gonna be quittin' all this, as soon as the hard times are over. I can tell ya that. Why just the other night, me and Bonnie were talkin'. And we were talkin' about the time we're gonna settle down and get us a home. And uh, she says to me, she says, "You know, I couldn't bear to live more than three miles from my precious Mother." Now how'd ya like that, Mother Parker?

Alright. Alright. If all you want's a stud service, you get on back to West Dallas and you stay there the rest of your life. You're worth more than that. A lot more than that. You know it and that's why you come along with me. You could find a lover boy on every damn corner in town. It don't make a damn to them whether you're waitin' on tables or pickin' cotton, but it does make a damn to me.

Why? What's you mean, "Why?" Because you're different, that's why. You know, you're like me. You want different things. You got somethin' better than bein' a waitress. You and me travelin' together, we could cut a path clean across this state and Kansas and Missouri and Oklahoma and everybody'd know about it. You listen to me, Miss Bonnie Parker. You listen to me.

…the truck drivers come in to eat greasy burgers and they kid you and you kid them back, but they're stupid and dumb, boys with big tattoos all over 'em, and you don't like it… And they ask you for dates and sometimes you go… but you mostly don't, and all they ever try is to get into your pants whether you want to or not… and you go home and sit in your room and think, when and how will I ever get away from this?… And now you know.

I don't think he's lost. I think the bank's been offerin' extra reward money for us. I think Frank just figured on some easy pickins, didn't ya Frank? You're no Texas Ranger. You're hardly doin' your job. You ought to be home protectin' the rights of poor folk, not out chasin' after us!

Honey, c'mon, I wanna talk to you for just a minute. Sit down, huh? This afternoon we killed a man, and we were *seen*. Now, so far nobody knows who you are, but they know who I am and they gonna be coming after me and anybody who's running with me. Now it's murder, it's gonna get rough. Now look: I can't get out now but you still can. I want you to say the word to me, and I'm gonna put you on that bus back to your momma. 'Cause you mean a lot to me, honey, and I just ain't gonna make you run with me.