Shirley MacLaine Monologues

Excuse me. It is after ten. Give my daughter the pain shot, please.

Well, please - it's, it's after ten. It's after ten. I don't see why she has to have this pain.

It's time for her shot! Do you understand? Do something! All she had to do is hold out until ten! And it's past ten! She's - in pain, my daughter's in pain! Give her the shot, do you understand me?

Do you have any reaction at all to my telling you I love you?

Would you like to come in?

Everything would have been just fine, you know, if you hadn't gotten drunk. I was... I... I just didn't want you to think I was like one of your other girls.

Garrett! What is it that makes you so insistent on shocking and insulting me? I mean, I really hate that way of talking. You must know this. Why do you do it?

Raising three children, working full-time *and* chasing women requires a lot more energy than you have. You know, one of the nicest qualities about you has always been that you recognized your weaknesses. *Don't* lose that quality now just when you need it the most!

Careful there. Those are worth more than you'll ever make in your lifetime.

You are not special enough to overcome a bad marriage.

He can't even do the simple things, like fail locally.

Not that it's any of your business… Oh, let's just leave it at that.

Grown women are prepared for life's little emergencies.

Come closer… come closer… come closer…