Oliver Reed Monologues

Those giraffes you sold me, they won't mate. They just walk around, eating, and not mating. You sold me… queer giraffes. I want my money back.

Listen to me. Learn from me. I was not the best because I killed quickly. I was the best because the crowd loved me. Win the crowd and you will win your freedom.

Ultimately, we're all dead men. Sadly, we cannot choose how but, what we can decide is how we meet that end, in order that we are remembered, as men.

I am Proximo! I shall be closer to you for the next few days, which will be the last of your miserable lives, than that bitch of a mother who first brought you screaming into this world! I did not pay good money for your company. I paid it so that I might profit from your death. And just as your mother was there at your beginning, I shall be there at your end. And when you die - and die you shall - your transition will be to the sound of...

Gladiators… I salute you.

So Spaniard, we shall go to Rome together and have bloody adventures. And the great whore will suckle us until we are fat and happy and can suckle no more. And then, when enough men have died, perhaps you will have your freedom.

That's enough for the provinces, but not for Rome. The young emperor has arranged a series of spectacles to commemorate his father, Marcus Aurelius. I find that amusing since it Marcus Aurelius, the wise, the all-knowing Marcus Aurelius, that closed us down. So, finally after five years of scratching a living in flea-infested villages, we're finally going back to where we belong. The coliseum. Oh, you should see the coliseum, Spaniard. Fifty-thousand Romans. Watching every movement of your sword. Willing you to make that killer blow. The silence before you strike. And the noise afterwards. It rises. It rises up like - like the - like a storm. As if you were the Thundergod himself.

So, Spaniard. We shall go to Rome together and have bloody adventures. And a great whore will suckle us until we are fat and happy and can suckle no more. And then, when enough men have died, perhaps you will have your freedom. Here, use this.

I know that you are a man of your word, General. I know that you would die for honor, for Rome, for the memory of your ancestors. But as for me? I'm an entertainer.