John Goodman Monologues

I miss him too! I miss him too. I miss him every day. I loved him like I've never loved a guy. And I don't love guys. You don't have an excuse, you quit. You quit, you gave up. He never quit on anything 'til it killed him, and that was his way, and there's much worse ways, and boy you sure found one.

My engine's on fire! Can you believe that? And I was in such a good mood!

Which I was personally never at, but think about it. The beer's warm, the dance hall's a Quonset, there's B-26s outside, hotshot pilots inside, an airstrip in the woods… it's England, man! Everything but Glenn Miller! Except we go to burning places and bomb 'em till they stop burning. You see, Pete, there ain't no war here.

This is why they don't make movies called 'Night Raid to Boise, Idaho' or 'Firemen Strike at Dawn'. And this is why you ain't exactly a hero for taking these chances you take. You're more of what I would call a dickhead.

Cute. Now we know how ready you are. We're gonna be coming into fire season soon, and if we get a big one - a real big one - they're gonna be calling guys from all over the place. They're gonna be calling veterans, first-timers, guys from all over the country if they have to. And when they call me, they're gonna say, 'Al, whaddya got?' And I'm gonna tell them I ain't got nothin'. 'Cause you're nothin'! What you did today was nothin'! Hell, you can't even hit a smoking oil drum, and a drum ain't a tree! A tree can explode like a bomb! A tree can go up like a Roman candle! And an oil drum don't have any heat! In a real fire, there's heat! There's heat that can suck you under, flip you over! There's currents that can tie a knot in a windsock! And Baker - Baker, you're on the bus. I'm going to San Diego and when I get back tomorrow, I don't want to see you in here.

Oh there's only ever been two kinds: There's lash fires, which are all flame, burn themselves out and leave nothing. Then there's the long burning. That is nature's burn. Even when you think it's out, the forest floor is warm to the touch. That's the kind you and Dorinda got.

Get on the radio to the Helibase. Have the choppers warmed up and standing by.