Jack Nicholson Monologues

Batman... Batman... Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in, where a man dressed up as a *bat* gets all of my press? This town needs an enema!

I'm only laughing on the outside / My smile is just skin deep / If you could see inside I'm really crying / You might join me for a weep.

As though we were made for each other… Beauty and the Beast. Of course, if anyone else calls you beast, I'll rip their lungs out.

Now comes the part where I relieve you, the little people, of the burden of your failed and useless lives. But, as my plastic surgeon always said: if you gotta go, go with a smile.

The pen, is truly mightier than the sword!

Haven't you ever heard of the healing power of laughter?

Bob, I want you to go down to the globe. Follow that reporter Knox. Take your camera. See what he knows about this Batman. And Bob...

Remember... you... are my number one... guy!

I now do what other people only dream. I make art until someone dies. See? I am the world's first fully functioning homicidal artist.

My balloons. Those are my balloons. He stole my balloons! Why didn't somebody tell me he had one of those... things? Bob, gun.

I'm gonna need a minute or two alone, boys.

Your pals, uh, they're not bad people. Maybe we, uh, outta give them a couple of days to think it over.

And now, folks, it's time for "Who do you trust!" Hubba, hubba, hubba! Money, money, money! Who do you trust? Me? I'm giving away free money. And where is the Batman? HE'S AT HOME WASHING HIS TIGHTS!

So gentlemen, that's how it is. Until Grissom, uh resurfaces, I'm the acting President, and I say starting with this anniversary festival, we run the city into the ground.

You IDIOT! You made me. Remember? You dropped me into that vat of chemicals. That wasn't easy to get over, and don't think that I didn't try.

Hey, bat-brain, I mean, I was a kid when I killed your parents. I mean, I say "I made you" you gotta say "you made me." I mean, how childish can you get?

Now you fellas have said some pretty mean things. Some of which were true under that fiend, Boss Grissom. He was a thief, and a terrorist. On the other hand he had a tremendous singing voice. He's dead now, and he's left me in charge. Now, I can be theatrical, and maybe even a little rough - but one thing I am not, is a killer. I am an artist. And I love a good party. So, truce. Commence au festival! And I've got a surprise for Gotham City. At midnight, I will dump 20 million in cash on the crowd. Don't worry about me; I've got enough.

You heard it, folks. 20 million. And there will be entertainment. The big du karoo. With me in one corner and in the other corner, the man who has brought real terror to Gotham City, Batman. Can you hear me? Just the two of us; you and me. Mano e mano. I've taken off my makeup. Now... let's see if you can take off yours.

Miss me? Nice place you've got here. Lots of space. Uh, Vicki, we've really got to have a talk. I'm very upset. We were having dinner. I was a man doing well with a beautiful woman. And without so much as an apology, you ran off with that sideshow phony.

I was in the bath one day, when i realized why i was destined for greatness.

You will take pictures and record my work. You will join me in the avant-garde of the new aesthetic.

You know, this used to be a helluva good country. I can't understand what's gone wrong with it.

They're not scared of you. They're scared of what you represent to 'em.

Oh, no. What you represent to them is freedom.

Oh, yeah, that's right. That's what's it's all about, all right. But talkin' about it and bein' it, that's two different thangs. I mean, it's real hard to be free when you are bought and sold in the marketplace. Of course, don't ever tell anybody that they're not free, 'cause then they're gonna get real busy killin' and maimin' to prove to you that they are. Oh, yeah, they're gonna talk to you, and talk to you, and talk to you about individual freedom. But they see a free individual, it's gonna scare 'em.

No, it makes 'em dangerous. Buhhhh! Neh! Neh! Neh! Neh! Neh! Neh! Swamp!

They'll talk to ya and talk to ya and talk to ya about individual freedom. But they see a free individual, it's gonna scare 'em.

I mean, it's real hard to be free when you are bought and sold in the marketplace.

I think I'll order kidneys, 'cause I left mine out there on the road somewhere.

That was a - UFO beamin' back at ya. Me and Eric Heisman was down in Mexico two weeks ago, we seen 40 of 'em flyin' in formation. They - they -they've got bases all over the world now, you know. They've been comin' here ever since 1946, when the scientists first started bouncin' radar beams off of the moon. And they have been livin' and workin' among us, in vast quantities, ever since. The government knows all about 'em.

Well, you just seen one of 'em, didn't ye?

Well, they are people just like us. From within our own solar system. Except that their society is more highly evolved. I mean, they don't have no wars, they got no monetary system, they don't have any leaders; because, I mean, each man is a leader. I mean, each man - because of their technology, they are able to feed, clothe, house, and transport themselves equally and with no effort.

Why don't they reveal themselves to us - is because if they did, it would cause a general panic. Now, I mean, we still have leaders upon whom we rely for the release of this information. These leaders - have decided to repress this information because of the tremendous shock that it would cause to our antiquated systems. Now, the result of this has been that the Venutians have contacted people at all walks of life, all walks of life -

Yes! It would be a devastin' blow to our antiquated systems. So, now Venutians are mating with people in all walks of life in an advisory capacity. For once, man will have a god-like control over his own destiny. He will have a chance to transcend and to evolve with some equality for all.

The governor of Louisiana gave me this. Madame Tinkertoy's House of Blue Lights, corner of Bourbon and Toulouse, New Orleans, Louisiana. Now, this is supposed to be the finest whorehouse in the south. These ain't no pork chops! These are U.S. PRIME!

I know, what did I do now? Oh, what am I gonna do now? Oh, my head. Alright, now, George, what are you gonna do now? I mean, you promised these people, now. You promised these people and you promised these people.

I guess I really tied one on last night. I must have had a helluva good time. I wish I could remember it.

They got this here, see, scissor-happy, beautify America thing going on around here. They're tryin' to make everybody look like Yul Brynner. They use rusty razor blades on the last two long hairs that they brought in here and I wasn't here to protect 'em. See, I'm a - I'm a law-er. Done a lot of work for the ACLU.

The COPS… are saying he's a cop… so I won't look for the cop. Are you soft, Fitz? When I tell you… to dump a body in the marsh, you dump him IN the marsh. Not where some guy from John Hancock goes every Thursday, TO GET A FUCKING BLOWJOB!

Don't laugh! This ain't Reality TV!

I don't want to be a product of my environment. I want my environment to be a product of me. Years ago we had the church. That was only a way of saying - we had each other. The Knights of Columbus were real head-breakers; true guineas. They took over their piece of the city. Twenty years after an Irishman couldn't get a fucking job, we had the presidency. May he rest in peace. That's what the niggers don't realize. If I got one thing against the black chappies, it's this - no one gives it to you. You have to take it.

One of us had to die. With me, it tends to be the other guy.

I got this rat, this gnawing, cheese eating fuckin' rat and it brings up questions... You know, see, Bill, like you're the new guy. Girlfriend... Why don't you stay in the bar that night I got your numbers. Social Security numbers. Everybody's fuckin' numbers.

The only one that can do what I do is me. Lot of people had to die for me to be me. You wanna be me?

Heavy lies the crown… sort of thing.

I'm concerned about a Chinaman who thinks it's wise to come to a business transaction with automatic weapons.

For his own good, tell Bruce Lee and the Karate Kids none of us are carrying automatic weapons. Because here - in this country… it don't add inches to your dick. You get a life sentence for it.

What we generally do - in this country... is one guy brings the items and the other guy pays him. No tickee, no laundry!

You know, if your father were alive, and saw you here sitting with me, let's say he would have a word with me about this. In fact, he'd kill seven guys just to cut my throat, and he could do it. That's maybe something you don't know about William Costigan, Sr.

No. He kept his own counsel. He never wanted money. You can't do anything with a man like that. You're Uncle Jackie - he also would kill my entire fucking family if he saw me here with you. And I think about this.

Did you ever think about going back to school?

When you decide to be something, you can be it. That's what they don't tell you in the church. When I was your age they would say we can become cops, or criminals. Today, what I'm saying to you is this: when you're facing a loaded gun, what's the difference?

I'll get you the records and what not. But listen to me, son. Don't disappoint me on this or some other guy will be putting their fat cock up little Miss Freud's ass.

It makes me curious to see you in this neighborhood. And if I can slander my own environment, it makes me sad. This, uh, regression. Plus, I don't know if it's beyond some fucking cop prick like Queenan to pull you out of the Staties and send you gift-wrapped to me. I just can't know. I wonder what they do in that particular department, anyway.

Church wants you on your place. Kneel, stand, kneel, stand. If you go for that sort of thing, I don't know what to do for you. A man makes his own way. No one gives it to you. You have to take it. "Non serviam."

Smart, Colin. Guineas from the north and down Providence try to tell me what to do. And, uh, something maybe happen to them. Maybe, uh, like that.

But Colin - I hope I don't have to remind you that if you don't find that cheese-eating rat bastard in your department, most likely it won't be me who suffers for it.

Maybe because it's always been so easy for me to get cunt, that I never understood jacking off in a theater.

If these chinks wanna nuke Taiwan anytime in this century, they better shape up and show me $1 million dollars! What we generally do - in this country - is one guy brings the items, and the other guy pays him. "No tickee, no laundry"!

You want a job? I got a job for you. Fix up this pigsty! You get a pretty Goddammed good salary for testing out this bed all day! You want an extra fifty dollars a week, try vacuuming! You want an extra hundred, make this Goddammed bed! Try opening some Goddammed windows! That's why you can't stand up in here, the Goddammed place smells like a coffin!

Alright, where the fuck is my shoehorn? This place is a mess! There's not any food in the house, half the time you look like you fell out of bed! You spend more time in bed than any other human being past the age of 6 months than I ever heard of!

The first time I do it, I want it beautiful. I don't want to waste it on some beast.

Is this an ultimatum? Answer me, you ball-busting, castrating, son of a cunt bitch! Is this an ultimatum or not?

Oh, Bobbie. You don't need me. Why do you let yourself in for this kind of abuse? Walk out. Leave me. Please leave me. God's sake, I'd almost marry you if you'd leave me.

She's a real ball-buster, that one. I've been through the mill with her kind.

You think a girl goes for you, and you find out she's after your money or your balls - or your money *and* your balls. Women today are better-hung than the men.

At one time, it was great what we had… the kidding around. It can't have a natural time span. Affairs can't dissolve in a good way. There's always got to be poison. I don't see why, I really don't see why!

Mildred, I think, this one's name was. She followed me around at school. The fellas kidded me about her. I warned her if she didn't stop, I'd beat her up. She picked up her skirt, dropped her drawers and shoved her ass at me. So I got my first sight of ass at 12.

Some people you can tell about right away. Most girls I talk to it's like we're spies from foreign countries and we're speaking in code. Everything means something else. Like, I say, "Would you like to take a walk?" And it means something else. And she says, "I can't. I've got a French test tomorrow." And it means something else.

It's not as easy getting laid as it used to be. I don't think I fuck more than a dozen new girls a year now. Maybe I'm too much of a perfectionist. This last one came so close to being what I wanted. Good pair of tits on her - not a great pair. Almost no ass at all and that bothered me. Sensational legs. I would have settled for the legs, if she had just two more inches here and three more here.

This is just between the two of us, but for the last year or so, I've been having - I don't know, a little trouble. I wasn't worried, but still and all a little trouble with - well, myself. You know, getting hard. It took a long time, and you know how girls are today, they judge you. They judge you very quickly. So, uh, I had a real rough time a couple of times. Some very nasty innuendos. And, as I say, I wasn't too worried; but, I won't lie to you, I was a little worried. Then along comes this Bobbie. I get one look at the size of the pair on her and I never had a doubt I'd ever be anything but okay again, and I was. I was.

I'm going too fast for you? Your little mind operates like an IBM, like a pinball machine. First Cindy. Oh, no, not Cindy? How about Sandy? How about Cindy and Sandy?

That's Bonnie, my first love. She lived upstairs from us. We started exposing ourselves to each other at 10. We got caught on the roof one day by my mother who washed my mouth out with soap. I never got the connection.

Marcia, 13 1/2 or thereabouts, I kissed her one night at a spin-the-bottle party.

This one's Rosalie. Rosalie looked just like Elizabeth Taylor in "National Velvet." I had a crush on Rosalie from 14 to 15 and I never went near her. In those days, we had illusions.

Here's Charlotte. Not much on looks, but great tits for 15.

Here's Gloria, the best-built girl at Evander Childs. I took her to the Bronx Zoo once and on the bus, copped a cheap feel.

Here's Gwen. I went with her for a year trying to get her to put out, but she thought I was too nice and was saving me for marriage. Every guy at Evander must have gotten into her pants except me.

Here's my first - no, that one was a mistake. Here's Eileen, my very first fuck. She was a modern dancer at Swarthmore. Great body on her. What a waste - frigid.

Here's Bobbie! My wife. The fastest tits in the West and king of the ball-busters. She conned me into marrying her and now she's killing me with alimony.

Here's a real cunt. I forget her name. A Nazi. I banged her in Berlin.

This slob I went with for a year until I got so sick of her ball-busting, I couldn't get it up anymore. I can't remember her name.

This was my Jap in the sack. I heard that Oriental girls were different. Not in America, they're not.

Sandy, you found a good piece of ass. God bless you. You're my friend, I'm happy for you. As long as it lasts, I'm happy for you. You deserve to be happy. I mean it.

Bad vibrations? Sandy, I love you, but you're a schmuck. You were always young, Sandy, open. You were schmucky a lot of the time, but maybe schmuckiness is what you need to stay young and open.

Relatively soon, I will die. Maybe in 20 years, maybe tomorrow, it doesn't matter. Once I am dead and everyone who knew me dies too, it will be as though I never existed. What difference has my life made to anyone. None that I can think of. None at all.

I know we're all pretty small in the big scheme of things, and I suppose the most you can hope for is to make some kind of difference, but what kind of difference have I made? What in the world is better because of me?

Well Ndugu, I'll close now. You probably can't wait to run and cash this check and get yourself something to eat.

Helen, what did you really think of me, deep in your heart? Was I really the man you wanted to be with? Was I? Or were you disappointed and too nice to show it? I forgive you for Ray. I forgive you. That was a long time ago, and I know I wasn't always the king of kings. I let you down. I'm sorry, Helen. Can you forgive me? Can you forgive me?

Helen, what did you really think of me deep in your heart? Was I really the man you wanted to be with? Was I? Or were you disappointed but too nice to show it?

You're making a big mistake, don't marry this guy, don't do it.

The other night I had a dream and it was very real. Your mother was there and you were there and your aunt Estelle. And there was a... well, it wasn't really a spaceship, it was more like a blimp or an orb of some kind. And then a bunch of weird creatures came out and started trying to take you away, and you wanna know what? They all looked like Randall. Do you understand? And I was jumping up and down to save you.

I am *begging* you not to marry Randall. This guy is not up to snuff. He's not in your league. I can't let this happen, I will not allow it. I mean, look at these people!

I'd like a plain omelette, no potatoes, tomatoes instead, a cup of coffee and wheat toast.

What do you mean? You don't have any tomatoes?

Yeah, I know what it comes with, but it's not what I want.

Wait a minute, I have made up my mind. I'd like a plain omelette, no potatoes on the plate, a cup of coffee and a side order of wheat toast.

What do you mean you don't make side orders of toast? You make sandwiches, don't you?

You've got bread and a toaster of some kind?

OK, I'll make it as easy for you as I can. I'd like an omelette, plain, and a chicken salad sandwich on wheat toast, no mayonnaise, no butter, no lettuce, and a cup of coffee.

Yeah, now all you have to do is hold the chicken, bring me the toast, give me a cheque for the chicken salad sandwich, and you haven't broken any rules.

I want you to hold it between your knees.

You see this sign?

I don't know if you'd be particularly interested in hearing anything about me. My life, I mean... Most of it doesn't add up to much that I could relate as a way of life that you'd approve of... I'd like to be able to tell you why, but I don't really... I mean, I move around a lot because things tend to get bad when I stay. And I'm looking... for auspicious beginnings, I guess... I'm trying to, you know, imagine your half of this conversation... My feeling is, that if you could talk, we probably wouldn't be talking. That's pretty much how it got to be before... I left... Are you all right? I don't know what to say

... Tita suggested that we try to... I don't know. I think that she... seems to feel we've got... some understanding to reach... She totally denies the fact that we were never that comfortable with each other to begin with... The best that I can do, is apologize.

We both know that I was never really that good at it, anyway...

I'm sorry it didn't work out.

Ants! Why don't we all line up like a goddamned bunch of ants! Its the most beautiful part of the day!

It's ridiculous. I'm sittin' here listening to some cracker *asshole* lives in a trailer park compare his life to mine. Keep on tellin' me about the good life, Elton, because it makes me puke.

Your, your little friend's real, real sharp. Uh, I don't, uh, I don't wear the wig on TV because if you're gonna be out there in front of two and a half million people, you've got to be sincere. I mean, I like to wear it when I'm in bowling alleys and slipping around, stuff like that. I think it gives me a little class. What do you think?

I got you to come and work out here? I ain't figured out how you let me get you to come out here and work on these rigs. I've never worked on these damn things before, Elton. You've worked on 'em before. I can't figure out how you let me get *us* out here.

Hi, I've got an appointment with Mr. Ullman. My name is Jack Torrance.

Wendy, let me explain something to you. Whenever you come in here and interrupt me, you're breaking my concentration. You're distracting me, and it will then take me time to get back to where I was. Understand?

Fine. Then we're going to make a new rule. Whenever I'm in here and you hear me typing

or whether you don't hear me typing, whatever the fuck you hear me doing, when I'm in here, that means that I am working, that means don't come in. Now, do you think you can handle that?

Good. Now why don't you start right now and get the fuck out of here? Hm?

You can't remember... Maybe it was about... Danny? Maybe it was about him. I think we should discuss Danny. I think we should discuss what should be done with him. What should be done with him?

Have you ever had a single moment's thought about my responsibilities? Have you ever thought, for a single solitary moment about my responsibilities to my employers? Has it ever occurred to you that I have agreed to look after the Overlook Hotel until May the first. Does it matter to you at all that the owners have placed their complete confidence and "trust" in me, and that I have signed a letter of agreement, a "contract," in which I have accepted that responsibility? Do you have the slightest idea what a "moral and ethical principal" is? Do you? Has it ever occurred to you what would happen to my future, if I were to fail to live up to my responsibilities? Has it ever occurred to you? Has it?

Little pigs, little pigs, let me come in. Not by the hair of your chiny-chin-chin? Well then I'll huff and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house in.

I like you, Lloyd. I always liked you. You were always the best of them. Best goddamned bartender from Timbuktu to Portland, Maine. Or Portland, Oregon, for that matter.

You got a big surprise coming to you. You're not going anywhere! Go check out the Snow Cat and the radio and you'll see what I mean. Go check it out. Go! Go check it out! Go check it out!

I fell in love with it right away. When I came up here from my interview, it was as though I had been here before. I mean, we all have moments of déjà vu, but this was ridiculous. It was almost as though I knew what was going to be around every corner.

I just happen to have two 20s and two 10s right here in my wallet. I was afraid they were going to be there until next April. So here's what: you slip me a bottle of bourbon, a little glass and some ice. You can do that, can't you? You're not too busy, are you?

I never laid a hand on him, goddamn it. I didn't. I wouldn't touch one hair on his goddamn little head. I love the little son of a bitch! I'd do anything for him. Any fucking thing for him. But that bitch… as long as I live she will never let me forget what happened.

I did hurt him once, okay? Completely unintentional. Could've happened to anybody. And it was THREE GODDAMN YEARS AGO! The little fucker had thrown all my papers all over the floor! All I tried to do was pull him up!

A momentary loss of muscular coordination. I mean, a few extra foot-pounds of energy, per second, per second.

I've got this, what, ailment? My doctor, a shrink that I used to go to all the time, he says that in fifty or sixty percent of the cases, a pill really helps. I hate pills. Very dangerous thing, pills. Hate. I'm using the word "hate" here, about pills. Hate. My compliment is, that night when you came over and told me that you would never… all right, well, you were there, you know what you said. Well, my compliment to you is, the next morning, I started taking the pills.

Just let me... let me talk. I might be the only person on the face of the earth that knows you're the greatest woman on earth. I might be the only one who appreciates how amazing you are in every single thing that you do, and how you are with Spencer, "Spence," and in every single thought that you have, and how you say what you mean, and how you almost always mean something that's all about being straight and good. I think most people miss that about you, and I watch them, wondering how they can watch you bring their food and clear their tables and never get that they just met the greatest woman alive. And the fact that I get it makes me feel good... about me.

Never, never, interrupt me, okay? Not if there's a fire, not even if you hear the sound of a thud from my home and one week later there's a smell coming from there that can only be a decaying human body and you have to hold a hanky to your face because the stench is so thick that you think you're going to faint. Even then, don't come knocking. Or, if it's election night, and you're excited and you wanna celebrate because some fudgepacker that you date has been elected the first queer president of the United States and he's going to have you down to Camp David, and you want someone to share the moment with. Even then, don't knock. Not on this door. Not for ANY reason. Do you get me, sweetheart?

It's not true. Some of us have great stories, pretty stories that take place at lakes with boats and friends and noodle salad. Just no one in this car. But a lot of people, that's their story. Good times, noodle salad. What makes it so hard is not that you had it bad, but that you're that pissed that so many others had it good.

The next thing I know, she's sitting right there next to me. Well, it's not right to go into details… I got nervous. I screwed up. I said the wrong thing, where if I hadn't, I could be in bed right now with a woman who if you make her laugh you got a life. Instead, I'm here with you: no offense, but a moron pushing the last legal drug.

Jesus, I mean, you guys do nothing but complain about how you can't stand it in this place here and you don't have the guts just to walk out? What do you think you are, for Chrissake, crazy or somethin'? Well you're not! You're not! You're no crazier than the average asshole out walkin' around on the streets and that's it.

They was giving me ten thousand watts a day, you know, and I'm hot to trot! The next woman takes me on's gonna light up like a pinball machine and pay off in silver dollars!

She was fifteen years old, going on thirty-five, Doc, and she told me she was eighteen, she was very willing, I practically had to take to sewing my pants shut. Between you and me, uh, she might have been fifteen, but when you get that little red beaver right up there in front of you, I don't think it's crazy at all and I don't think you do either. No man alive could resist that, and that's why I got into jail to begin with. And now they're telling me I'm crazy over here because I don't sit there like a goddamn vegetable. Don't make a bit of sense to me. If that's what being crazy is, then I'm senseless, out of it, gone-down-the-road, wacko. But no more, no less, that's it.

Someone get me a fucking wiener before I die.

Koufax… Koufax kicks. He delivers. It's up the middle! It's a base hit! Richardson is rounding first. He's going for second. The ball's into deep right center. Davis cuts the ball off! Here comes the throw. He throws it to second! He slides! He's in there! He's safe! It's a double! Richardson's on second base!

Koufax is in big fucking trouble! Big trouble, baby! All right. Tresh is the next batter. Tresh looks in. Koufax… Koufax gets a sign from Roseboro. He kicks once. He pumps. He fires. It's a strike! Koufax's curve ball is snapping off like a fucking firecracker! All right, here he comes with the next pitch. Tresh swings. It's a long fly ball to deep left center!

It's going! It's gone! Let's hear it! One way!

Kopi Luwak is the world's most expensive coffee. Though for some, it falls under the category of "too good to be true." In the Sumatran village, where the beans are grown, lives a breed of wild tree cat. These cats eat the beans, digest them and then... defecate.

The villagers then collect and process the stools. It is the combination of the beans and the gastric juices of the tree cat that give Kopi Luwac…

...its unique flavor... and aroma. You're shitting me!

We live, we die, and the wheels on the bus go round and round.

The simplest thing is... I loved him. And I miss him. Carter and I saw the world together. Which is amazing... When you think that only three months ago, we were complete strangers! I hope that it doesn't sound selfish of me but... the last months of his life were the best months of mine. He saved my life... And he knew it before I did.

Good afternoon. My name is Edward Cole. I don't know what most people say at these occasions because in all honesty, I've tried to avoid them. The simplest thing is I loved him and I miss him. Carter and I saw the world together, which is amazing when you think that only three months ago we were complete strangers. I hope that it doesn't sound selfish of me, but the last months of his life were the best months of mine. He saved my life, and he knew it before I did. I'm deeply proud that this man found it worth his while to know me. In the end, I think it's safe to say that we brought some joy to one another's lives, so one day, when I go to some final resting place, if I happen to wake up next to a certain wall with a gate, I hope that Carter's there to vouch for me and show me the ropes on the other side.

What do you think happens now? I go back and sit around listening to people talking about mezzanine financing and subordinated debt pretending that I care about dead money. You go home to some ceremonial procession into death with everyone standing around watching you die while you try to comfort them.

I build a billion dollar business up from *nothing*! Presidents have asked my advice, I have dined with royalty, and I'm supposed to make out like what? This trip was supposed to mean something to me? Like it was gonna change *me*? How did you see it playing out Carter, I knock on the door, she answers, she's surprised and angry, but I tell her how much I love her and miss her, and oh, by the way, I'm gonna be dead soon so I'm reaching out to you because I don't wanna die alone?

First time he hit her, she came to me. I wanted to bash his brains in. She wouldn't let me. Said she loved him, said it wasn't his fault, he'd had a few drinks... she was the one who picked the fight. Next time it happened, she didn't come to me. The ex told me. Nice to hear her voice again.

What any father would do. I took care of it. I called a guy who called a guy who handles these kinds of things. I don't know what he said, don't know what he did... All I know is he didn't kill him. And my daughter never heard from him again.

Son, we live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Lt. Weinberg? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for Santiago and you curse the Marines. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know; that Santiago's death, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, *saves lives*. You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on that wall. You need me on that wall. We use words like honor, code, loyalty. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it! I would rather you just said "thank you" and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon and stand a post. Either way, I don't give a *damn* what you think you are entitled to!

You see Danny, I can deal with the bullets, and the bombs, and the blood. I don't want money, and I don't want medals. What I do want is for you to stand there in that faggoty white uniform and with your Harvard mouth extend me some fucking courtesy. You gotta ask me nicely.

I run my unit how I run my unit. You want to investigate me, roll the dice and take your chances. I eat breakfast 300 yards from 4000 Cubans who are trained to kill me, so don't think for one second that you can come down here, flash a badge, and make me nervous.

Absolutely. My answer is I don't have the first damn clue. Maybe he was an early riser and liked to pack in the morning. And maybe he didn't have any friends. I'm an educated man, but I'm afraid I can't speak intelligently about the travel habits of William Santiago. What I do know is that he was set to leave the base at 0600. Now, are these really the questions I was called here to answer? Phone calls and foot lockers? Please tell me that you have something more, Lieutenant. These two Marines are on trial for their lives. Please tell me their lawyer hasn't pinned their hopes to a phone bill.

Hmmmm... transfer Santiago. Yes, I'm sure you're right. I'm sure that's the thing to do. Wait, I've got a better idea. Let's transfer the whole squad off the base. Let's... On second thought, Windward! Let's transfer the whole Windward Division off the base. John, go on out there and get those boys down off the fence, they're packing their bags. Tom!

Wait a minute, Tom, don't get the President just yet. Maybe we should consider this for a second. Dismissed, Tom. Maybe, and I'm just spit balling here, maybe, we have a responsibility as officers to traing Santiago. Maybe we as officers have a responsibility to this country to see to that the men and women charged with its security are trained professionals. Yes, I'm certain that I read that somewhere once. And now I'm thinking,Col. Markinson, that your suggestion of transferring Santiago, while expeditious and certainly painless, might not be, in a matter of speaking, the American way. Santiago stays where he is. We're gonna train the lad!

I think he's kind of a weasel, myself. But he's an awfully good officer, and in the end we see eye to eye on the best way to run a Marine Corps unit. We're in the business of saving lives, Matthew. That's a responsibility we have to take pretty seriously. And I believe that taking a Marine who's not quite up to the job and shipping him off to another assignment, puts lives in danger.

We go back a while. We went to the Academy together, we were commissioned together, we did our tours in Vietnam together. But I've been promoted up through the chain of command with greater speed and success than you have. Now if that's a source of tension or embarrassment for you, well, I don't give a shit. We're in the business of saving lives, Lieutenant Colonel Markinson. Don't ever question my orders in front of another officer.

Maybe I'm just spitballing here, maybe we have a responsibility as officers to train Santiago, maybe we as officers have a responsibility to this county to see that the men and women charged with its security are trained professionals. I'm certain I've read that somewhere once, and now I'm thinking your suggestion of "transferring Santiago" while expeditious and painless might not be in the manner of speaking, the "American way". Santiago stays where he is, we're going to train the lad

well what'd you know? This man's dad once made a lot of enemies in your neck of the woods. Jefferson versus Madison County School District. Folks down there said a little black girl couldn't go to an all white school. Lionel Kaffee said "well, we'll just see about that."