Glenn Close Monologues

Well, what am I supposed to do? You won't answer my calls, you change your number. I mean, I'm not gonna be ignored, Dan!

Don't you ever pity me, you smug bastard.

Why? Because I won't allow you to treat me like some slut you can just bang a couple of times and throw in the garbage?

Bring the dog, I love animals… I'm a great cook.

Please don't justify yourself, it's pathetic. If you'd tell me to fuck off, I'd have more respect for you.

I guess you thought you'd get away with it. Well, you can't.

Hello, Dan. Are you surprised? This is what you've reduced me to. I guess you thought you'd get away with it. Well… you can't. 'Cause part of you is growing inside of me, and that's a fact, Dan, and… you'd better start… learning how to deal with it. 'Cause you know, I… I feel you. I taste you. I think you. I touch you. Can you understand? Can you? I'm just… asking you… to acknowledge your responsibilities. Is that so bad? I don't think so. I-I don't think it's unreasonable. And, you know, another thing is that you thought that you could just walk into my life, and turn it upside down, without a thought for anyone but yourself. You know what you are, Dan? You're a cock-sucking son of a bitch. I hate you. I bet you don't even like girls, do you? Ha! You disappoint me, you fucking faggot!

We were attracted to each other at the party. That was obvious. You're on your own for the night. That's also obvious. We're two adults.

I had a wonderful time last night. I'd like to see you again. Is that so terrible?

And don't you think I understand what you're doing? You're trying to move him into the country... and you're keeping him away from me. And you're playing happy family. Aren't you?

You wouldn't understand that because you're so... so selfish. He told me about you. He told me about you. He was very honest. If you weren't so stupid, you'd know that. But you're so stupid. You're so stupid... you're a stupid, selfish bitch!

Where's your wife?

This is not gonna stop. It keeps going on and on.

Well, go to hell!

When I came out into society, I was fifteen. I already knew that the role I was condemned to, namely to keep quiet and do what I was told, gave me the perfect opportunity to listen and observe. Not to what people told me, which naturally was of no interest, but to whatever it was they were trying to hide. I practiced detachment. I learned how to look cheerful while, under the table, I stuck a fork into the back of my hand. I became a virtuoso of deceit. It wasn't pleasure I was after, it was knowledge. I consulted the strictest moralists to learn how to appear, philosophers to find out what to think, and novelists to see what I could get away with. And in the end, I distilled everything to one wonderfully simple principle: win or die.

One does not applaud the tenor for clearing his throat.

Like most intellectuals, he's intensely stupid.

Well, I had no choice, did I? I'm a woman. Women are obliged to be far more skillful than men. You can ruin our reputation and our life with a few well-chosen words. So, of course, I had to invent, not only myself, but ways of escape no one has every thought of before. And I've succeeded because I've always known I was born to dominate your sex and avenge my own.

You'll find the shame is like the pain, you only feel it once.

When it comes to marriage, one man is as good as the next. And even the least accomodating is less trouble than a mother.

When one woman strikes at the heart of another she seldom misses, and the wound is invariably fatal.

'm saying, you stupid little girl, that provided you take a few elementary precautions you can do it or not as often as you like, with as many different men as you like, in as many different ways as you like.

One of the reasons I never re-married, despite a bewildering range of offers, was the determination NEVER AGAIN to be ordered about.

Adopt a less marital tone of voice.

More good women have been lost to marriage than to war, famine, disease and disaster. You have talent, darling. Don't squander it.

What kind of sycophant are you?

Shut up!

My business, my reputation, my life, has been ruined!

because you three incompetent twits let yourselves be outsmarted by a bunch of dumb animals!

And you call yourselves men? Huh? I've seen more intelligent pieces of carpet!

Alonzo. The drawing.

Take the drawing from Anita, and hand it to me! Is that difficult?

Thank you. Now go and stand somewhere until I need you.

Darling, red isn't your color. Give me the hat. Give me the hat, or you will become a hat. GIVE IT TO ME!

My faith in your limited intelligence is momentarily restored.

I live for fur, I worship fur. After all, is there a woman in all this wretched world who doesn't?

Mr. Skinner, suspicions are mounting. Police are everywhere. I want the job done tonight. Can you do it?

Any way you want. Poison them, drown them, bash them on the head. Got any chloroform? I don't care how you kill the little beasts, JUST DO IT, AND DO IT NOW!

Oh, yes! I love the smell of near extinction!

Be sure to let me know when the blessed event occurs.

The puppies, darling. I have no use for babies.

You… BEASTS! But I'm not beaten yet. You've won the battle, but I'm about to win the wardrobe. My spotty puppy coat is in plain sight and leaving tracks. In a moment I'll have what I came for, while all of you will end up as sausage meat, alone on some sad, plastic plate. Dead and meaty and red. No friends, no family, no pulse. Just slapped between two buns, smothered in onions, with fries on the side. Cruella De Vil has the last laugh!

All right. Keep the little beasts. Do what you like with them. Drown them, for all I care. You're a fool, Anita! I have no use for fools. You're fired, you're finished, you'll never work in fashion again! I'm through with all of you! I'll get even! Just wait. You'll be sorry. You fools! You IDIOTS!

Bingo!

Poor little things. I'm gonna cut you off, then cut you up!

And you must be Rufus.

This is extraordinary. I am reduced to tramping through SEWAGE! Because my two imbeciles can't keep track of a bunch of infant dogs!

Get down from there, and CATCH THOSE PUPPIES!

Well what can I say? Accidents will happen.