Dolly Parton Monologues

Well, I say we hire a couple'a wranglers to go upstairs and beat the shit out of him.

Well why wouldn't he? He's got you for poisoning him, and me for roping him, and *you* for acting like he was first prize at a turkey shoot!

That's just great! We just waltz into the hospital and say, "We're sorry, we made a mistake." Well, maybe they'll give us Hart's body in exchange!

What? So! You've been telling everybody I'm sleeping with you, huh? Well, that explains it; that's why these people treat me like some dime-store floozy. They all think I'm screwing the boss!

Oh, and you just love it, don't you! It gives you some sort of cheap thrill, like knocking over pencils, and picking up papers...

Get your scummy hands off me. Look, I've been straight with you since the first day I got here. And I've put up will all your groping and ogling and hollow apologies and chasing me around the desk, because I need this job. BUT THIS IS THE LAST STRAW!

Look, I've got a gun out there in my purse. And up to now, I've been forgiving and forgetting because of the way I was brought up. But I'll tell you one thing: If you ever say another word about me or make another indecent proposal, I'm gonna get that gun of mine... And I'm gonna change you from a rooster to a hen with one shot!

DON'T THINK I CAN'T DO IT!

You steal the wrong body from the hospital and all you can say is I must have made a mistake!

We keep underrating you, fella. We always knew you were an obnoxious, philandering, sexist backstabber... but we didn't realize you were a crook to boot.

Well... if she gives us anymore trouble, we'll just send her back to that language school and this time, let her learn to speak German!