Christian Slater Monologues

I'm not eatin' 'cause I'm not hungry. I'm not sittin' 'cause I'm not stayin'. I'm not lookin' at the movie 'cause I saw it seven years ago. It's "The Mack" with Max Julien, Carol Speed, and Richard Pryor. I'm not scared of you. I just don't like you. In that envelope is some payoff money. Alabama's moving on to some greener pastures. We're not negotiatin'. I don't like to barter. I don't like to dicker. I never have fun in Tijuana. That price is non-negotiable. What's in that envelope is for my peace of mind. My peace of mind is worth that much. Not one penny more, not one penny more.

If there's one thing this last week has taught me, it's better to have a gun and not need it than to need a gun and not have it.

You just said you love me, now if I say I love you and just throw caution to the wind and let the chips fall where they may and you're lying to me I'm gonna fuckin' die.

I mean look at her. It looks like she fell off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.

I always said, if I had to fuck a guy... I mean had to, if my life depended on it... I'd fuck Elvis.

I can't tell you… that was one of the best times I ever had. It was. But, you know, I knew something must be rotten in Denmark. There was no way you could like me that much. Man, I can't tell you how relieved I was when you took off your dress, you… you didn't have a dick.

In "Jailhouse Rock" he was everything rockabilly's about. I mean, he is rockabilly. Mean, surly, nasty, rude. In that movie he couldn't give a fuck about nothing except rockin' and rollin', living fast, dying young and leaving a good-looking corpse.

Well, he ain't so much a good guy as he is just a bad mother fucker. I mean, he gets paid by people to fuck guys up.