Dr. Donald Shirley

Dr. Donald Shirley Monologues

You never win with violence. You only win when you maintain your dignity.

So if I'm not *black* enough and if I'm not *white* enough, and not *man* enough, then tell me, Tony, what am I?

Falling in love with you was the easiest thing I've ever done.

Yes, I live in a castle, Tony! Alone. And rich white people pay me to play piano for them because it makes them feel cultured. But as soon as I step off that stage, I go right back to being just another nigger to them. Because that is their true culture. And I suffer that slight alone, because I'm not accepted by my own people 'cause I'm not like them, either. So, if I'm not black enough and if I'm not white enough and if I'm not man enough, then tell me, Tony, what am I?

What on God's green earth are you doing? Looks more like a piecemeal ransom note. May I? "Dear Dolores"... D-E-A-R. This is an animal. "I'm meeting all the highly leading citizens of the town. People that use big words, all of them. But you know me, I get by. I'm a good bullshitter." Two Ts in bullshitter. "As I'm writing this letter, I'm eating potato chips, and I'm starting to get thirsty. I washed my socks and dried them on the TV. I should have… brung… the iron…" You know this is pathetic, right?

Yes. It's a shame we don't have something to protect us on our journey. Oh, I know. Why don't you put your lucky rock up on the dash, Tony? Come on, Tony, we need all the help we can get.

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