Shûsaku Endô

I do because you are just like me. You see Jesus in Gethsemane and believe your trial is the same as His. Those five in the pit are suffering too, just like Jesus, but they don't have your pride. They would never compare themselves to Jesus. Do you have the right to make them suffer? I heard the cries of suffering in this same cell. And I acted.

There's a saying in here: "Mountains and rivers can be moved but men's nature cannot be moved".

I pray too, Rodrigues. It doesn't help. Go on, pray. But pray with your eyes open.

1633. Pax Christi. Praised be God. Although for us there is little peace in this land now. I never knew Japan when it was a country of light, but I have never known it to be as dark as it is now. All our progress has ended in new persecution, new repression, new suffering. They use ladles filled with holes so the drops would come out slowly, and the pain would be prolonged. Each small splash of the water was like a burning coal. The Governor of Nagasaki took four friars, and one of our own society to Unsen. There are hotsprings there. The Japanese call them "hells," partly I think, in mockery. And partly, I must tell you, in truth.

The officials told our Padres to abandon God and the gospel of his love. But they not only refused to apostatize, they asked to be tortured so they could demonstrate the strength of their faith and the presence of God within them. Some remained on the mountain for 33 days. The story of their courage gives hope to those of us priests who remain here in secret. We will not abandon our hidden Christians who live in fear. We only grow stronger in his love.

Rodrigues, please listen. The Japanese only believe in their distortion of our gospel. So they did not believe at all. They never believed.

Francis Xavier came here to teach the Japanese about the son of God. But first he had to ask how to refer to God. "Dainichi", he was told. And shall I show you their Dainichi?

Behold... there is the SUN of God. God's only begotten sun. In the scriptures Jesus rose on the third day. In Japan... the sun of God rises daily.

The Japanese cannot think of an existence beyond the realm of nature. For them, nothing transcends the human.

I pray but I am lost. Am I just praying to silence?

I worry, they value these poor signs of faith more than faith itself. But how can we deny them?

I feel so tempted. I feel so tempted to despair. I'm afraid. The weight of your silence is terrible. I pray, but I'm lost. Or am I just praying to nothing? Nothing. Because you are not there.

Surely God heard their prayers as they died. But did He hear their screams?

The blood of martyrs is the seed of the church.

Father, how could Jesus love a wretch like this? There is evil all around in this place. I sense its strength, even its beauty. But there is none of that in this man. He is not worthy to be called evil.

I thought that martyrdom would be my salvation. Please, please, God, do not let it be my shame. The Lord is my refuge, and my deliverer. My God is my helper, and in Him will I put my trust. Of the Blood, all price exceeding, shed by our immortal King, destined for the world's redemption.

The black soil of Japan is filled with the wailing of so many Christians, the red blood of priests has flowed profusely, the walls of the church have fallen down.

...surely God heard their prayers as they died... but did he hear their screams?

These people are the most devoted of Gods creatures on Earth. Father Valignano, I confess I began to wonder - God sends us trials to test us and everything he does is good, and I prayed to undergo trials like his son - but why must their trials be so terrible, and why when I look in my own heart do the answers I give them seem so weak.