Nick Massi Monologues

Excuse me, with all due respect, he opened it up, I’m gonna say something. I’ve been rooming with this guy on and off for what is it, ten years? This was not a walk in a park, this was a sentence. A ten year sentence. The man is a personal nightmare. He wears the same underwear 3 days running. He takes no pride in his appearance in the simple amenities of life. You wanna talk about towels? The man cannot be in a hotel without using all the towels. I’m talking face towels, bath towels, the bathmat, the little washcloths like he’s living alone. You need a towel, you know where it is? In a wet pile on the floor. I come back to the room one time, the man is pissing in the sink.

Right in the sink, right in the fucking sink! I say “Tommy, what’s wrong with you? There’s a toilet over there.” He says “This was closer.” This is what I’m dealing with! The man is not properly socialized. Frankie doesn’t have to deal with it, Gaudio doesn’t, I’ve had to deal with it. TEN YEARS!

Alright, I’ll be honest with you. It could have been an ego thing, everybody wants to be up front. But if there is four guys, and you’re Ringo? Better I should spend some time with my kids.

People always ask the same question, why’d you do it Nicky? Why’d you walk away? Well let me clear that up. It wasn’t the signed deal, it wasn’t the touring, it wasn’t the bad food or rooming with Tommy, it just came out of my mouth. Once I said it, I knew it was what I wanted. I wanted to go home.

Bob will tell you it was all smooth sailing right up until we hit the iceberg with Tommy and the $150 thousand. That’s Bob. Who was always looking so far into the future he never saw what was going on under his nose. Fact is, the trouble didn’t start at the Sullivan Show. It started long before that.

You’d think after everything that went down, Frankie would have cut Tommy loose right then. If that’s what you think, you’re not from Jersey.

Everybody wants to be up front. But if there’s four guys, and you’re Ringo? Better I should spend some time with my kids.

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