Geek

By night's end, I predict me and her will interface.

Relax, would you? We have seventy dollars and a pair of girls underpants. We're safe as kittens.

I know I came on kinda like a poozer on the bus tonight and everything. But… that's just so my friends won't think, you know, I'm a jerk.

Yeah, but, the thing is, I'm kinda like the leader, you know? Kinda like the king of the dipshits.

Come on, what's the problem here? I'm a boy. You're a girl. Is there any thing wrong with me trying to put together some kind of relationship between us? Okay, look, I know you haven't been - just answer me one question.

Will you shut up? People around here work, alright? And will you hurry it up? I'm breaking like 30 major laws here.

Do you know how many times a week I go without lunch because some bitch borrows my lunch money? Y'know, any halfway decent girl can rob me blind, because I'm too torqued up to say no.

Right! So why would I lie? But I feel compelled to mention to you, Jake, I mean, if all you want of the girl is a piece of ass, I mean, I'll either do it myself, or get someone bigger than me, to kick your ass. I mean, not many girls in contemporary American society today, would give their underwear to help a geek like me.

Girls will do that, Jake. You know? You see, they know guys are like in perpetual heat, right? They know they shit, and they enjoy pumping us up. It's pure power politics. I'm telling ya.

Games, Jake. Silly torturous games. You know how many times I've gone without lunch because some bitch borrows my lunch money? Any halfway decent girl can rob me - blind! Because I'm too torqued up to say no. It's heinous, I'm telling you.