Cry-Baby Monologues

In 1950s Baltimore, a bad boy with a heart of gold wins the love of a good girl, whose boyfriend sets out for revenge.

That's right, Allison. My father was the "Alphabet Bomber." He may have been crazy, but he was my pop. Only one I ever had.

That's right. All in alphabetical order. Car wash... drug store... I used to lay in my crib and hear him scream in his sleep..."A,B,C,D,E,F,G... BOOM! BOOM!"

My mother tried to stop him. She couldn't even spell, for Christ's sake, but they fried her too.

I'm sorry, Allison. But no wonder we're together, honey. I'm an orphan, too.

Yes! And orphans have special needs.

Watch, it's easy. You just open your mouth, and I open mine, and we wiggle our tongues together. And it feels real sexy.

You'll be Queen, and I'll be your King / But if you leave my hive you're gonna feel my sting. / Cause you're my Queen.

A king Queen.

A King cry baby with my Queen by my side.

And if you mess with us man, you're gonna cry, baby, cry, baby, cry, baby, cry.

Grandmother, Uncle Belvedere, you've made me the happiest juvenile delinquent in Baltimore! And guess what? I met a girl!

I may be a drape, but I love your granddaughter. And if that's a crime, I'll stand convicted, ma'am.

You're cool, Allison. You just look square. Underneath it all, I think you're really hep.

It's okay, Hatchet. You're beautiful, baby. But I'll take care of this maggot! Do you know how to play the automobile game called Chicken?

I got some new rules, sucker! How 'bout you and me on top of the car?

That's "Mr. Baby" to you! Fellas of the press, this chicken race tonight is for my daddy. And I'd like to sing something in his memory. Something hill-billy... something colored!

Something my daddy would have loved!

Allison, I'm sorry to get you locked up! But tonight, well, you were the coolest date I ever had!

That Lenora ain't nothing to me! I swear on my daddy's grave! I'm burning inside to touch you, baby!

Well I ain't here 'cause I drive too fast. / And I'm too young to have a criminal past. / Some good behavior would be alright / But I don't seem to qualify. / I'm just out for a little fun / But I'm guilty until I'm twenty one / I guess I'm doing time for being young

I had my first cigarette before I could walk / And I was strumming this guitar before I could talk, Cause I'm the King.

A King Cry Baby with a tear in my eye / If you mess with the King you're gonna cry, baby, cry, baby, cry, baby, cry.

Now, I can't let the right thing stand in my way / Someday, baby, I'll know better / Right now making her pay

The woman want a Cadillac, she don't want no man / I used to have a woman, said she loved me so