Julia Stiles Monologues

I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair. I hate the way you drive my car. I hate it when you stare. I hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme.

I hate it, I hate the way you're always right. I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry.

I hate it when you're not around, and the fact that you didn't call.

But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.

I guess in this society, being male and an asshole makes you worthy of our time.

I don't like to do what people expect. Why should I live up to other people's expectations instead of my own?

You can't just buy me a guitar every time you screw up, you know?

And don't just think you can - !

Don't, for one minute, think that you had any effect whatsoever on my panties.

Other than my upchuck reflex, nothing.

Romantic? Hemingway? He was an abusive, alcoholic misogynist who squandered half of his life hanging around Picasso trying to nail his leftovers.

My mission in life. But, obviously I struck your fancy so you see it worked. The world makes sense again.

Bogey's party is just a lame excuse for all the idiots at our school to drink beer and rub up against each other in hopes of distracting themselves from the pathetic emptiness of their meaningless...

You don't always have to be who they want you to be, you know?

Well, now that you've seen "the plan", I'm gonna go and show "the plan" to someone else.

Can you even imagine? Who the hell would go to that antiquated mating-ritual?

Do you really wanna get all dressed up, so some Drakkar Noir-wearing dexter with a boner can feel you up while you're forced to listen to a band that, by definition, blows?

Have you seen the unwashed miscreants that go to that school?

You're not as vile as I thought you were.

You're looking at this from entirely the wrong perspective. We're making a statement.

I'm sorry. Looks like you'll just have to miss out on the witty repartee of Joey "eat me" Donner.