Bob Kane

Batman... Batman... Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in, where a man dressed up as a *bat* gets all of my press? This town needs an enema!

I'm only laughing on the outside / My smile is just skin deep / If you could see inside I'm really crying / You might join me for a weep.

As though we were made for each other… Beauty and the Beast. Of course, if anyone else calls you beast, I'll rip their lungs out.

Now comes the part where I relieve you, the little people, of the burden of your failed and useless lives. But, as my plastic surgeon always said: if you gotta go, go with a smile.

The pen, is truly mightier than the sword!

Haven't you ever heard of the healing power of laughter?

Bob, I want you to go down to the globe. Follow that reporter Knox. Take your camera. See what he knows about this Batman. And Bob...

Remember... you... are my number one... guy!

I now do what other people only dream. I make art until someone dies. See? I am the world's first fully functioning homicidal artist.

My balloons. Those are my balloons. He stole my balloons! Why didn't somebody tell me he had one of those... things? Bob, gun.

I'm gonna need a minute or two alone, boys.

Your pals, uh, they're not bad people. Maybe we, uh, outta give them a couple of days to think it over.

And now, folks, it's time for "Who do you trust!" Hubba, hubba, hubba! Money, money, money! Who do you trust? Me? I'm giving away free money. And where is the Batman? HE'S AT HOME WASHING HIS TIGHTS!

So gentlemen, that's how it is. Until Grissom, uh resurfaces, I'm the acting President, and I say starting with this anniversary festival, we run the city into the ground.

You IDIOT! You made me. Remember? You dropped me into that vat of chemicals. That wasn't easy to get over, and don't think that I didn't try.

Hey, bat-brain, I mean, I was a kid when I killed your parents. I mean, I say "I made you" you gotta say "you made me." I mean, how childish can you get?

Now you fellas have said some pretty mean things. Some of which were true under that fiend, Boss Grissom. He was a thief, and a terrorist. On the other hand he had a tremendous singing voice. He's dead now, and he's left me in charge. Now, I can be theatrical, and maybe even a little rough - but one thing I am not, is a killer. I am an artist. And I love a good party. So, truce. Commence au festival! And I've got a surprise for Gotham City. At midnight, I will dump 20 million in cash on the crowd. Don't worry about me; I've got enough.

You heard it, folks. 20 million. And there will be entertainment. The big du karoo. With me in one corner and in the other corner, the man who has brought real terror to Gotham City, Batman. Can you hear me? Just the two of us; you and me. Mano e mano. I've taken off my makeup. Now... let's see if you can take off yours.

Miss me? Nice place you've got here. Lots of space. Uh, Vicki, we've really got to have a talk. I'm very upset. We were having dinner. I was a man doing well with a beautiful woman. And without so much as an apology, you ran off with that sideshow phony.

I was in the bath one day, when i realized why i was destined for greatness.

You will take pictures and record my work. You will join me in the avant-garde of the new aesthetic.

It all started on the day that I died. If there had been an obituary, it would have described the unremarkable life of an unremarkable woman, survived by no one. But there was no obituary, because the day that I died was also the day I started to live. But that comes later. This was my life. Days blended together, consistently ordinary, thanks to a job that was the practical version of my passion. I was supposed to be an artist by now. Instead, I was designing ads for beauty cream.

White Russian, no ice, no vodka… hold the Kahlua.

Cats come when they feel like it. Not when they're told.

You saved my life, Midnight. But somebody killed me and I've got to find out who and why.

The day I died was the day I started to live. In my old life, I longed for someone to see what was special in me. You did, and for that, you'll always be in my heart. But what I really needed was for me to see it. And now I do. You're a good man, Tom. But you live in a world that has no place for someone like me. You see, sometimes I'm good. Oh, I'm very good. But sometimes I'm bad. But only as bad as I wanna be. Freedom is power. To live a life untamed and unafraid is the gift that I've been given, and so my journey begins.

The worst part of having a mental illness is people expect you to behave as if you don't.

You don't listen, do you? I don't think you ever really hear me. You just ask the same questions every week. "How's your job?" "Are you having any negative thoughts?" All I have are negative thoughts.

I used to think that my life was a tragedy, but now I realize, it's a fucking comedy.

For my whole life, I didn't know if I even really existed. But I do, and people are starting to notice.

I just hope my death makes more cents than my life.

I haven't been happy one minute of my entire fucking life.

Ugh, why is everybody so upset about these guys? If it was me dying on the sidewalk you'd walk right over me! I pass you everyday and you don't notice me! But these guys? Well because Thomas Wayne would cry about them on TV?

Have you seen what it's like out there, Murray? Do you ever actually leave the studio? Everybody just yells and screams at each other. Nobody's civil anymore. Nobody thinks what it's like to be the other guy. You think men like Thomas Wayne ever think what it's like to be someone like me? To be somebody but themselves? They don't. They think that we'll just sit there and take it, like good little boys! That we won't werewolf and go wild!

I know it seems strange, I don't mean to make you uncomfortable. I don't know why everyone is so rude; I don't know why you are. I don't want anything from you. Maybe a little bit of warmth, maybe a hug, dad? How about just a little bit of fucking decency!

I've got nothing left to lose. Nothing can hurt me anymore. My life is nothing but comedy.

Comedy is subjective, Murray, isn't that what they say? All of you, the system that knows so much: you decide what's right or wrong the same way you decide what's funny or not.

She always tells me to smile, and put on a happy face.

I heard this song on the radio the other day, and the guy was singing that his name was Carnival.

Which is crazy, because that's my clown name. At work, until a little while ago, it was like nobody ever saw me. Even I didn't know if I really existed.