Lisa

So, what would you little maniacs like to do first?

Have you ever wondered how sad it is, that your son's only sexual outlet is tossing off to magazines in the bathroom?

You know, there's going to be sex, drugs, rock-n-roll... chips, dips, chains, whips... You know, your basic high school orgy type of thing. I mean, uh, I'm not talking candlewax on the nipples, or witchcraft or anything like that, no, no, no. Just a couple of hundred kids running around in their underwear, acting like complete animals.

You had to be big shots didn't you. You had to show off. When are you gonna learn that people will like you for who you are, not for what you can give them. Well, in your race for power and glory, you forgot one small detail.

You guys created me, I didn't come from anywhere. Before you started messing around with your computer, I didn't even exist. By the way, you did an excellent job. Thank you.

If you want be a party animal, you have to learn to live in the jungle.

Wyatt, you're going to have a heart attack by the time you're forty if you don't learn to relax. Have you tried inversion boots?

If you ever get the chance, shower with them. I did. Mmm, it's a mindscrambler. Hurts so good.

It's seriously affecting your sex life. Ten seconds into my gymnastics routine, you passed out. You slept. I did my toes. By the way, you're very cute. We'll try it again some other time, okay?

I'm not going to hurt you, you silly thing. I mean, your lips. They feel like rigor mortis has set in. Why don't you try and relax a little bit? I'm only kissing you.

Honey buns, you want to party so badly, you could bottle it. I mean, you and Gary, you want friends, you want popularity, you want all that stuff, right?

What's there to understand? They're oppressive, meddlesome, difficult, demanding and totally bizarre. I mean, they're normal parents.

Guys, you have uninvited guests. I think you better come out and ask them to leave. They're getting pretty rowdy. This is an excellent chance for you to prove your bravery and courage.

Those guys really need some self-confidence. A challenge. Something that'll bring out their inner strength and courage. I'm so bloody clever. Now!