Little Miss Sunshine Monologues

A family determined to get their young daughter into the finals of a beauty pageant take a cross-country trip in their VW bus.

You know what? Fuck beauty contests. Life is one fucking beauty contest after another. School, then college, then work… Fuck that. And fuck the Air Force Academy. If I want to fly, I'll find a way to fly. You do what you love, and fuck the rest.

I wish I could just sleep until I was eighteen and skip all this crap-high school and everything-just skip it.

You know what? Fuck beauty contests. Life is one fucking beauty contest after another. You know, school, then college, then work, fuck that. And fuck the air force academy. If I wanna fly, I'll find a way to fly. You do what you love, and fuck the rest.

No, you're *not* my family! I don't wanna *be* your family! I hate you fucking people! Divorce? Bankrupt? Suicide? You're fucking losers, you're losers! No, please just leave me here, Mom. Please, please, please. Please... just leave me here.

No, you're *not* my family, okay? I don't want to *be* your family! I *hate* you fucking people! *I hate you!* Divorce? Bankrupt? Suicide? You're fucking *losers*! You are losers!

No, *please* just leave me here, Mom. Okay? Please, *please*. Please just leave me here.

I apologize for the things I said. I was upset, and I didn't really mean them.

Do you know who Marcel Proust is?

Yeah. French writer. Total loser. Never had a real job. Unrequited love affairs. Gay. Spent 20 years writing a book almost no one reads. But he's also probably the greatest writer since Shakespeare. Anyway, he uh… he gets down to the end of his life, and he looks back and decides that all those years he suffered, Those were the best years of his life, 'cause they made him who he was. All those years he was happy? You know, total waste. Didn't learn a thing. So, if you sleep until you're 18… Ah, think of the suffering you're gonna miss. I mean high school? High school-those are your prime suffering years. You don't get better suffering than that.

Wow, Richard, you've really opened my eyes to what a loser I am. How much do I owe you for those pearls of wisdom?

I'm glad you're talking again, Dwayne. You're not nearly as stupid as you look.

Who is that? Nietzsche? So you stopped talking because of Friedrich Nietzsche? Far out.

Have I mentioned that I am the preeminent Proust scholar in the US?

He fell in love with another man,a colleague of mine; Larry Sugarman.

Did you know that "a la mode", in French, translates literally to "in the fashion"? A la moooode... It comes from the latin word modus to do or proper measure.