Jason Smilovic

Efraim Diveroli Monologues

When does telling the truth ever help anybody?

Everyone's fighting over the same pie and ignoring the crumbs. I live on crumbs. Like a rat.

Sorry. Don't worry, I have to go first, I'm American.

All the money is made between the lines.

They don't want to, they have to. Remember Little League? How, at the end of the season, they'd give out that big MVP trophy and that one kid would always win it?

Right. But then, one year, somebody's mom complained? Then they had to give everybody a little trophy so they wouldn't feel bad? Even that fat retarded kid. Robbie Friedman, got one. That's kind of like what's happening here.

The Pentagon fucked up when they were rebuilding the Iraqi Army. They gave all these no-bid contracts to Cheney's boys, and they got caught. So Bush started this initiative to level the playing field and now every Pentagon purchase, every gun, every grenade, every bullet, gets offered to small businesses for bidding. And sure, the big dogs still get the big trophies. But the Pentagon's got to give little trophies to all the Robbie Friedmans of the world.

Iraq is dope. I'm thinking about getting a place there.

You keep supplying the guns, we'll keep killing the bad guys. God bless you.

I think you should come work for me.

This isn't about being pro-war. This is about being pro-money.

David Packouz Monologues

What do you know about war? They'll tell you it's about patriotism, democracy... or some shit about the other guy hating our freedom. But you wanna know what it's really about? What do you see? A kid from Arkansas doing his patriotic duty to defend his country? I see a helmet, fire-retardant gloves, body armor and an M16. I see $17, 500. That's what it costs to outfit one American soldier. Over two million soldiers fought in Iraq and Afghanistan. It cost the American taxpayer $4.5 billion each year just to pay the air conditioning bills for those wars. And that's what war is really about. War is an economy. Anybody who tells you otherwise is either in on it or stupid.

They called guys like us war dogs. Bottom feeders who make money off of war without ever stepping foot on the battlefield. It was supposed to be derogatory, but… we kind of liked it.

So, I don't get it. If there's an entire defense industry, why would the Pentagon want to buy anything from you?

The Rabbi Monologues

My father used to say: "The first time someone calls you a horse you punch him on the nose, the second time someone calls you a horse you call him a jerk but the third time someone calls you a horse, well then perhaps it's time to go shopping for a saddle."

The unlucky are nothing more than a frame of reference for the lucky. You are unlucky, so I may know that I am not. Unfortunately the lucky never realizes they are lucky until it's too late. Take yourself for instance; yesterday you were better off than you are off today but it took today for you to realize it. But today has arrived and it's too late. You see? People are never happy with what they have. They want what they had, or what someone else has.

I don't. I'm a bad man who doesn't waste time wondering what could've been when I am what could've been and what could not have been. I live on both sides of the fence. My grass is always green. Consider, Mr. Fisher... there are two men sitting here before you, and one of them you should be very afraid of. Where's my money?

If there's one thing I know, is when someone is lying. A man in my position, that's all he has to go on. To know a lie when he hears it. It's the difference between life and death. Your own. Someone else's. That being said, he wasn't lying.

You're unlucky and nothing more than a frame of reference for the lucky Mr. Fisher. You're unlucky, so that I may know that I am not. Unfortunately, the lucky never realised they are lucky until its too late. Take yourself for instance, yesterday you were better off than you are today but it took today for you to realise it. But, today has arrived and it's too late. You see?

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