Kiefer Sutherland Monologues

Today is a good day to die.

You bring the equipment, I'll bring my balls.

Hello, I'm nice, he's nice, we're both fucking lunatics. Can I come in, please?

When my body temperature hits 86 degrees, you're going to hit me with 200 Joules. The electric current will stop my heart. When the heart is dead, take the mask off... I'm going to draw 20 ccs. You handle the injections. When the EEG flatlines, the brain is dead. I'll be exploring. Give me 30 seconds. Flip the blanket on to 'warm.' Take me up to 93 degrees slowly. Inject 1 cc of Adrenaline, and at one minute, Joe, you come in with the defibs. And you bring me back to life.

Everything matters, everything we do matters.

Somehow we've brought our sins back physically. And they're pissed.

Philosophy failed. Religion failed. Now it's up to the physical sciences.

C'mon, Billy Mahoney. C'mon… Gimme your best shot. I dare ya. I fuckin' dare ya.

Our sins have come back in a physical form… and they're pissed.

I call them the Strangers. They abducted us and brought us here. This city, everyone in it... is their experiment. They mix and match our memories as they see fit, trying to divine what makes us unique. One day, a man might be an inspector. The next, someone entirely different. When they want to study a murderer, for instance, they simply imprint one of their citizens with a new personality. Arrange a family for him, friends, an entire history... even a lost wallet. Then they observe the results. Will a man, given the history of a killer, continue in that vein? Or are we, in fact, more than the sum of our memories?

You are probably wondering why I keep appearing in your memories, John. It is because I have inserted myself into them.

First there was darkness. Then came the strangers. They were a race as old as time itself. They had mastered the ultimate technology. The ability to alter physical reality by will alone. They called this ability "Tuning". But they were dying. Their civilization was in decline, and so they abandoned their world seeking a cure for their own mortality. Their endless journey brought them to a small, blue world in the farthest corner of the galaxy. Our world. Here they thought they had finally found what they had been searching for. Correction: The word used in the film is "qeuning" not "tuning."

These do bring back memories. This one is still warm. What is it? The recollections of a great lover? A catalog of conquests? We will soon find out. You wouldn't appreciate that, would you, Mr. Whatever-your-name is? Not the sort of conquest you would ever understand. Let's see, a touch of unhappy childhood, a dash of teenage rebellion, and last but not least, a tragic death in the family.

When they first brought us here, they extracted what was in us and stored the information, remixed it like so much paint, and gave us back new memories of their choosing. But they still needed an artist to help them. I understood the human mind better than they ever could, so they allowed me to keep my skills as a scientist... because they needed them. They made me delete everything else. Can you imagine what it's like to erase your own past?

Remember John, never talk to strangers!

There is no ocean, John. There is nothing beyond the city. The only place home exists... is in your head.

It appears that John has suffered a psychotic break. Complete memory loss. He may be delusional. Even violent. Emma, if he were to contact you, and I suspect he will, you must call me immediately. Do you understand? It is imperative that I be the first one to reach him. Wherever you husband is, he is searching... for himself.

Listen to me, John. You have their power. You can make things happen by will alone. They call it "Tuning." That is how they make the buildings change. Just now you acted out of self-defense, a reflex. But I can teach you to control your power consciously. Let me help you, John. Together We can stop them, we can take the city back.

You still don't understand, John. You were never a boy. Not in this place.

You can't understand the pain of betrayal until you've been betrayed.

Nice shoes. Italian. You hung up, Stu. I didn't even have a chance to say goodbye. I feel bad about the pizza guy. But I couldn't miss seeing you and Kelly reunited. You don't have to thank me, nobody ever does. I just hope your newfound honesty lasts. Because if it doesn't, you'll be hearing from me.

Isn't it funny? You hear a phone ring and it could be anybody. But a ringing phone has to be answered, doesn't it?

You'd shoot me if you had the chance, wouldn't you?

Stu, don't do this. Please, come on. My sainted mother used to do this. She used to dish this out... Stu, please don't this. Stu, you're bringing back my unhappy childhood. Stu, talk to me, please! Talk to me! I can't take it Stu... Ahh!

I'm kidding. I had a very happy childhood.

You're in this position because you're not telling the truth.

Now doesn't that just torque your jaws? I love that. You know like in the movies just as the good guy is about to kill the bad guy, he cocks his gun. Now why didn't he have it cocked? Because that sound is scary. It's cool, isn't it?

If only you had dealt with the man decently, this might not have been necessary.

But not your respect, which is what he really wanted. You were dismissive just as you were to the nice pizza guy. You are guilty of inhumanity to your fellow man.

Come on, Stu! Don't you get the game yet?

Do you see the tourists with their video cameras, hoping the cops will shoot you so they can sell the tape to Goriest Police Shoot-outs?

This guy is getting on my nerves.

Wait till it goes national. ABC, CBS, CNN, UPN, you're gonna have the whole alphabet.

Stu, you just gave that man $10 to walk away and saved his life. You have human emotions after all.

If this is true Stuart, then I have to take somebody with me don't I? And since Kelly is the most important thing in your life, I'll take her.

This is exciting. You get to choose between them. Kelly. Pam. BAM BAM!

Think so? Let's see. One...

Two. That won't help you. Three!

Oh Stu, look at everybody. Look at all the people yelling, Stu. Here come the cops, sniper on the roof. Gunfire. Hit the deck.

TV seems to bring out the worst in people.

That's it, the captain gets a bullet.

Stu, if you hang up, I will kill you.

I never said I had bincolars. I have a highly magnified telescopic image of you. Now what kind of a device has a telescopic sight mounted on it?

A 30-calibre bolt-action 700 with a Carbon One modification and a state-of-the-art Hensoldt tactical scope. And it's staring straight at you.

At this range, the exit wound ought to be about the size of a small tangerine.

Now doesn't that just torque your jaws? I love that. You know like in the movies just as the good guy is about to kill the bad guy, he cocks his gun. Now why didn't he have it cocked? Because that sound is scary. It's cool, isn't it?

You think she didn't know she was being watched.

But beautiful women always know. That false indifference, superior air. It's just a tease. They want eyes on them. Why does she put on her make up? Do her hair? Dress so nicely? Not for her husband which she hardly ever sees, no, it's for somebody else to notice... I notice.

Come on Stu. You're a selfish guy. Just pick one of them and save yourself.

Hi Stu! Now,you've had your little tantrum, and you've said some things in anger that I am willing to forget. Let's start over.

Yes, one of your pathetic failed ones. You don't have to come find me and ruin me, I can't get work as it is. I've done some off-Broadway, some off-Manhattan, but that dried up. Now I wait tables, clean toilets, anything I can to make the rent. I'm a walking cliché.

Everybody does harm.

You are going to learn to obey me.

Deception can't go unrewarded.