Billy
Billy Monologues
Man, everybody got chicken, that's what happened. Hey, we can't even get into like, a second-rate hotel, I mean, a second-rate motel, you dig? They think we're gonna cut their throat or somethin'. They're scared, man.
Well, you know something, man, I think, you want to know what I think? I think this is a crackpot idea! That's what I think. How 'bout that? How 'bout a little of that? I think it's a crackpot idea! I mean, if they're so smart, why don't they just reveal themselves to us, huh, and get it over with?
Hey, man! We've done it! We've done it! We're rich, Wyatt. Yeah, man. Yeah. Say, we did it, man. We did it! We did it. We're rich, man! We're retirin' in Florida now, mister.
No, man, like hey, man. Wow. I was watching this object man, li-like the satellite that we saw the other night, right? And, like, it was going right across the sky, man, and then… I mean it just suddenly, uh, it just changed direction and went whizzin right off, man. It flashed…
Oh, yeah, man, like I'm stoned, you know, man. But, like, you know, I saw a satellite, man. And it was going across the sky and it flashed three times at me and zigzagged and whizzed off! Man, and I saw it!
Parading without a permit? You gotta be kidding! I mean, you know who this is, man? This is Captain America! I'm Billy! Hey, we're headliners, baby! We've played every fair in this part of the country, I mean, for top dollar, too!
I'm goin' down to Mardi Gras, I'm gonna git me a Mardi Gras Queen. Yeah, oh, man, wow, Mardi, that's gonna be the weirdest trip, you know. You know what we ought to do, man? First thing, man, go and get us a groovy dinner. Yeah, break out some of that cash, man.
Out here in the wilderness, fightin' Indians and Cowboys on every side. What's the matter? You zoned? What? You're really zoned, huh?
Hey, man, what are you doing? Come over here, I gotta talk to you man. Hey man, everything that we ever dreamed of is in that teardrop gas tank and you gotta stranger over there pourin' gasoline all over it. All he's got to do is turn and look over into it, man, and he can see that…
I'm getting a little smashed, man. A little smashed. It's hot in here, man. Chicks. Those chicks, man. Those chicks.