Comet Monologues

See? This is why I hate time. I can't enjoy my sesame chicken because of that.

I wish I could just... stop it or something. Or at least just make it pause when needed, like now. Really, I'd just get of it altogether.

You know how there's time-based art? Movies, music, plays- it's all time-based art. There's a beginning and a middle and an end. and you have to see it from beginning to end. You're restrained to that time line, that way of experiencing it. But then there's paintings, no beginning, no middle, no end. You see what you want to see when you want to see it. No restrictions. It's just there.

It doesn't have to look good on paper to feel good.

No matter how bad our relationship got, I wanted to say thank you from the bottom of my heart for it. Because I needed it. I needed you in this life.

It's beautiful when the weather is not hot or cold. Kinda like you don't notice it. Kinda like it's perfect because everything is so balanced. You don't even feel it. And while you're feeling that non-feeling you look up in the sky and you almost think that's why. Because how everything is right now, all the stars and planets and us and the ground, and the cells and molecules right now… is exactly the reason why now is comfortable.

I'm glad we dated. I needed to date you. Before you, I only dated guys that looked good on paper.

You were really, really smart, but also selfish, crass... Not always in an entertaining way, mind you. You hated your job and life and you were completely comfortable being miserable. You're horrible on paper. And I loved you. Being with you made me realize it... Doesn't have to look good on paper to feel good.

No, because for some reason I still happen to be in love with you.

Morning sickness has been keeping me up. I just really love Roxette. And I dressed this way not to announce to the world anything. It was you. I wanted to look good for you. Because no matter how bad our relationship got I wanted to say thank you from the bottom of my heart for it. Because I needed it. I needed you in this life. That's what I wanted to say.

He… called himself a Bob Dylan song and then proceeded to call me a Britney Spears song. I don't know what that means either, but it sounds insulting.

He's an executive at MTV. Looks like a cross between Salvador Dali and Dwayne Wayne from "a different world", which is hot.

I feel like I'm in the wrong world.

Cause I don't belong in a world where we don't end up together. I don't.

There are parallel universes out there where this didn't happen.

Where I was with you, and you were with me.

And whatever universe that is that's the one where my heart lives in.

I never thought love was real, now I think life isn't real without it.

Kimberly... I used to find it really annoying you said 'so' all the time. Bugged the shit out of me. And I... I love it. I love it now. After we have sex and you shrug your shoulders and you say 'I'm here all week!,' - love that. I love that a single strand of your hair can fall so perfectly to the side and you don't even know. I love the little blue veins behind your eyes. I love your eyes. Knowing you goes down as easily the best thing that's ever happened to me. Easily. If I were a restaurant, you'd be my special, but nobody could order you, 'cause I'd just want you to be mine, just all mine. Not in, like, a biblical slavery-owning sense, or a pimp-prostitute dynamic of "you be mine, bitch," but... but just in that... you're my love. You're my love. But my favorite thing of all: I like you 'cause you like me. I don't know - I think that says a lot about how great you are as a person. So, um...

I was saying, "Don't miss her. " Earlier, when you saw me talking to myself. I was saying, "Don't miss her. " I'm always so afraid I'm gonna miss the important things in life. Something about you has given me a heightened curiosity to know you better. And that is a near impossible feat when it comes to me because I hate getting to know people. But I can tell you're not like the others.

Whenever anybody emails me hugs and kisses, I wanna just email them back oral and penetration.

You hurt me! You really hurt me this time, Kimberly… I wanna break up with you. I don't love you.

That is what I want to say actually. I don't... I don't love you, Kimberly. Honestly, I don't know if I ever really did. And you definitely didn't. If you're capable of making choices that knowingly hurts the other person, that's not love.

Reality is I could have met any number of girls to be with for a few years. That was your lie. Alright? Texting Jack behind my back. It came when I least expected it. I fell for it hook, line and sinker and it fucking hurts. That was your lie. Bravo.

All I ever wanted was the truth.

Why does it feel so impossible to let you go? It's an addiction, you know. That's all it is. It's a biochemical addiction. It's so stupid. If you think about it relationships are all totally narcissistic. Basically, you're just looking for someone who'll love you as much as you love yourself. That's all it is.

Something's wrong. I know it, Kimberly, I know you. You have circles under your eyes. You were the type of girl that could sleep through wars. And despite that, you're still looking so beautiful. More beautiful than ever, in fact. It's usually a sign you wanna remind the world that you're a sexual being because your man's not picking up the signal. You've checked out of this relationship, haven't you? You're not happy. Also, you're listening to Roxette. I know that means the beginning of the end. And let's get real for a second about the ring, alright. You're not having it sized. I'm sure you had your ring-size burned into Jack's memory years ago. Fuck, I still remember it, 4.5. You didn't wear the ring because you didn't want me to see it. Don't marry him, okay. I want you back. I know you want me back too. That's why I'm here. That's what you've been wanting to say to me this whole time…

This is not a dream.

I should know that I'm a C, may be a C+ in the winter time when I can cover up my body more. And even though you're a douchebag, you're still incredibly attractive. So, maybe it's only fair, you two pair.

Dell: I just have to tell you something more important really quick. You know that book I've been reading, "The Selfish Gene" by Richard Dawkins, there's this fascinating part I just read about memes. He basically says that ideas are like genes that self-replicate and mutate, like a cultural form of evolution, I was thinking how that applies to us, you know? The idea of us, how we've really mutated and evolved. Right? Because you think about it, we were just dumb, young kids when we first met. And then we broke up, got back together, blah blah blah. And now we're this really mature, loving couple who's grown respect and admiration for each other.