Alec

She can do that? She can refuse my bail, are you serious? Okay, uh, look, I just need to talk to her.

Right, that makes sense. Well, I would prefer not to spend the next twenty four hours in an uncomfortable silence with you, so why don't we just pretend that we never had sex? It didn't happen. And then we can pretend that it's just the weather and not your passive-aggressive magical grandmother.

Did you just call my penis big?

Well, it's still nice to hear.

Look at 'em, a million tiny, little matchmakers. Thank you, snowflakes.

Women are most honest when they're trying to hurt somebody's feelings.

Hey. I just thought of an idea that could fix everything. Do you want to get high?

Yeah, me neither. That was just a test. I didn't know if you were a cop.