Jim

Jim Monologues

Oh, great, Valium. Not only will we be able to get to sleep, but if we're attacked in the middle of the night, we won't even care.

Oh, no. No, see-see, this is a really shit idea. You know why? Because it's really obviously a shit idea. So, we're just gonna drive in the tunnel full of fuckin' smashed cars and broken glass. It's really fuckin' obviously a shit idea!

Hey, don't do that. Look, Hannah is what Frank says she is, okay? She's tough, and she's strong, and she'll cope, just like I'll cope, and just like you'll cope.

Look, I'm a bicycle carrier. I was riding a package from, uh, Farringdon to Shaftesbury Avenue, and a car cuts across me. Then, I wake up today in a hospital. I wake up and I'm - I'm hallucinating, or I'm…

The world's worst place to get a flat, huh?

You think I don't get it but, um, I do get it. And I know I'd be dead already, if I hadn't met you.

No - No - No, then we should take the most indirect route. The one that's in broad daylight and that's not underground.

Listen. Listen to me. He's still all fucked. We're gonna be okay. He's still all fucked. We're gonna be okay. I've got to explain something.

I've seen something. It's gonna be okay. It's gonna be okay.

Jim Monologues

What did you expect? "Welcome, sonny"? "Make yourself at home"? "Marry my daughter"? You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know… morons.

Well, it got so that every piss-ant prairie punk who thought he could shoot a gun would ride into town to try out the Waco Kid. I must have killed more men than Cecil B. DeMille. It got pretty gritty. I started to hear the word "draw" in my sleep. Then one day, I was just walking down the street when I heard a voice behind me say, "Reach for it, mister!" I spun around… and there I was, face to face with a six-year old kid. Well, I just threw my guns down and walked away. Little bastard shot me in the ass. So I limped to the nearest saloon, crawled inside a whiskey bottle… and I've been there ever since.

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