Susan Sarandon Monologues

What he was involved with was evil. I don't condone it. I just don't see the sense of killing people to say killing people's wrong.

You know what else the Bible asks for? Death as a punishment for adultery, prostitution, homosexuality, trespass upon sacred ground, profaning the Sabbath, and contempt of parents.

You are a son of God.

I want the last face you see in this world to be the face of love, so you look at me when they do this thing. I'll be the face of love for you.

Show me some respect, Matthew.

Because I'm a person.

Look at you. Death is looking down your neck, and you're playing your little male come-on games.

Sister Celestine said, "I'm glad I never had to share my bed with a man."

I know. She's gonna be lying next to a man for all eternity.

Mr. Percy, I'm just trying to follow the example of Jesus, who said that a person is not as bad as his worst deed.

It's not faith, it's work.

I believe in the Church of Baseball. I've tried all the major religions, and most of the minor ones. I've worshipped Buddha, Allah, Brahma, Vishnu, Siva, trees, mushrooms, and Isadora Duncan. I know things. For instance, there are 108 beads in a Catholic rosary and there are 108 stitches in a baseball. When I learned that, I gave Jesus a chance. But it just didn't work out between us. The Lord laid too much guilt on me. I prefer metaphysics to theology. You see, there's no guilt in baseball, and it's never boring,

which makes it like sex. There's never been a ballplayer slept with me who didn't have the best year of his career. Making love is like hitting a baseball: you just gotta relax and concentrate. Besides, I'd never sleep with a player hitting under .250, not unless he had a lot of RBIs and was a great glove man up the middle. You see, there's a certain amount of life wisdom I give these boys. I can expand their minds. Sometimes when I got a ballplayer alone, I'll just read Emily Dickinson or Walt Whitman to him, and the guys are so sweet, they always stay and listen. 'Course, a guy'll listen to anything if he thinks it's foreplay. I make them feel confident, and they make me feel safe, and pretty. 'Course, what I give them lasts a lifetime; what they give me lasts 142 games. Sometimes it seems like a bad trade. But bad trades are part of baseball - now who can forget Frank Robinson for Milt Pappas, for God's sake? It's a long season and you gotta trust it. I've tried 'em all, I really have, and the only church that truly feeds the soul, day in, day out, is the Church of Baseball.

Walt Whitman once said, "I see great things in baseball. It's our game, the American game. It will repair our losses and be a blessing to us." You could look it up.

In the future, when a woman's crying like that, she isn't having any fun!

You mean you haven't asked him, yet? Thelma, for Christ's sake! Is he your husband or your father? It is just two days, for God's sake. Don't be a child. Tell him you're going with me. Tell him I'm having a nervous breakdown.

Yeah, where do you get off behaving like that with women you don't even know? Huh? Huh? How'd you feel if someone did that to your mother? Or your sister? Or your wife?

Look, you shoot off a guy's head with his pants down, believe me, Texas is not the place you wanna get caught.

Look, Thelma, you just gotta stop talking to people. You gotta stop being so open. We're fugitives now, all right? Let's start behaving like that.

You know, certain words and phrases just keep drifting through my mind. Things like, incarceration, cavity search, death by electrocution, life imprisonment, shit like that. You know what I'm sayin'? So do I want to come out alive? I don't know. I... I don't know. I think we're gonna have to think about that.