My sister Veronica and I had this double act, and my husband Charlie traveled around with us. Now for the last number in our act we did these 20 acrobatic tricks in a row: one, two, three, four, five, splits, spread-eagles, back-flips, flip-flops, one right after the other. So this one night before the show we’re at the hotel Cicero, the three of us boozin, having a few laughs, and we run out of ice, so I run out to get some. I come back, open the door, and there’s Veronica and Charlie doing number 17, the spread-eagle. Well, I was in such a state of shock that I completely blacked out; I can’t remember a thing. It wasn’t until later, when I was washing the blood off my hands, I even knew they were dead.
‘C’mon Babe, why don’t we paint the town… And all that Jazz. I’m gonna rouge my knees and roll my stockings down… And all Jazz. Start the car I know a whoopie spot… where the gin is cold and the piano’s hot. It’s just a noisy hall, where there’s a nightly brawl… And all that Jazz.
Slick your hair and wear your buckle shoes… And all that jazz. I hear that father dip is gonna blow the blues… And all that jazz. Hold on hun we’re gonna bunny hug, I bought some aspirin down at united drug. In case we shake apart and want a brand new start to do that Jazz.
Oh, you’re gonna see your sheba do the shimmy-shake… And all that jazz. Oh, she’s gonna shimmy till her garters break… And all that jazz. Show her where to park her girdle. Oh, her mother’s blood’ll curdle if she’d hear her baby’s queer for All that jazz…
My sister and I had an act that couldn’t flop. My sister and I were headed straight for the top. My sister and I earned a thou a week at least, but my sister is now unfortunately deceased. I know it’s sad, of course, but a fact is still a fact. And now all that remains is the remains of a perfect double act.
